The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays,
science
is the way that leads humans to provide a good life. Which is the milestone of the high life quality.
This
essay is an agreed essay , both points of view will discussed. 
First,
there is no doubt that knowledge can improve the standard of living to
this
day. From my point of view,
science
can lead to various advancements in medicine and healthcare.
For example
, for the coronavirus, they find vaccinations that help to not get affected by it.
Furthermore
, Scientific research helps in solving societal problems and makes life more easier.
In addition
,
science
plays a big role in health improvement to raise the living standard .
Secondly
, from another point of view might be limitations or negative consequences associated with certain scientific developments. Like testing on animals to make medicines.
Also
, that can affect the environment.
Furthermore
, the gas emissions that they make
while
they work.
As a result
, that will increase the change of climate problem.
Moreover
, the
science
work is more risky and has so many issues either for him or to whole world. At
last
,
Science
should
also
prioritize sustainability and environmental preservation.
To sum up
,
This
essay discussed both points of agreement or Ethier. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
am with
science
but,
science
has to continue to consider the climate change problem and any environmental issues.
Likewise
, people must exchange information about
science
and know its value.
Finally
, Many people need more information about the efforts that
science
provides.
Submitted by hanadi.alajmi92 on

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language
Enhance clarity by eliminating grammatical errors and awkward phrasings such as 'This essay is an agreed essay , both points of view will discussed.' Consider simplifying and improving sentence structures for better readability.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to strengthen points. For instance, instead of only mentioning vaccinations for coronavirus, give details on other medical advancements influenced by science.
coherence
Include stronger and more direct transitions between ideas to improve flow. Phrases like ‘Furthermore’ and ‘Moreover’ are good, but they should also relate the ideas more cohesively.
argumentation
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, giving a clear overview of the perspectives discussed.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task directly, discussing both the positive impacts of science on people’s lives and the possible negative consequences.

Your opinion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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