IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #professionals #doctors #engineers #work #country
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Nowadays whether
professionals
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such
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 as doctors and engineers should
work
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 in the
country
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 where they did their training or freely
work
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 in a foreign nation as they wish raises a thorny question.
This
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 essay will discuss both views and give its opinion. On the one hand, individuals who practice in their home
country
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 use its resources for their own benefit in order to get educated and more experienced in their field of
work
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. It is evident that the cost of students' education fees is high and the money the government puts into their education can be dedicated to low-income families or poor people rather than students.
This
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 means that
professionals
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 should serve their own
country
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.
Moreover
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, the migration of the majority of
professionals
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 can negatively affect the
country
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.
For example
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, citizens can witness a lack of medical care, which could result in various health problems.
On the other hand
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,
professionals
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 should have their own will and shouldn't be forced to
work
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 in the
country
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 they
practised
Wrong verb form
practise
show examples
 in.
Furthermore
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, in some countries, there are not many job opportunities for specialists. So they choose to leave their nation.
Also
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 in some places, experts are not satisfied with their salaries. They say that can't afford basic needs
such
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 as rent money and transport. At
this
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 time, it is their right to somewhere where they can improve their life and earn more. In conclusion, even though some people claim that
professionals
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 should stay in their hometown in order to serve their compatriots, because of the fact that the government invested a large portion of their budget in its students, I think that everyone should have their own free will to
work
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 where they wish.
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coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in maintaining coherence and cohesion throughout. However, further development of examples for each point discussed could strengthen your arguments and provide more clarity.
task achievement
For a complete task response, ensure that you provide balanced arguments for both views. Providing more detailed and specific examples can help in illustrating your points more effectively.
task achievement
You have effectively addressed the topic by discussing both views and giving a relevant opinion, which shows a clear understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured with well-paragraphed content, making it easy to follow and understand.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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