IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Many criminals commit more crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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There is no denying the fact that many crimes are committed by criminals directly after releasing from prison.
This
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 essay will discuss the reasons that led to
this
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 widespread phenomenon and suggest some solutions to get rid of it.
To begin
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 with, there are many causes that drive prisoners to do the same crime again after they get their freedom from prison.
Firstly
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, they do not receive enough
education
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 from schools about ethical principles.
In other words
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, some parents do not care about their children, so it becomes easy for adolescents to go astray and make many mistakes.
In addition
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, these people may experience a psychological disease that pushes them to repeat offensive actions.
For example
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, students with ADHD disorder if they are not treated well, may be thieves in the future. In terms of proposing some solutions to
this
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 dilemma, parents have a crucial role in the upbringing of their children. It is possible to say that they should teach them the basics of ethics, and parents must be aware that they act as role models to their offspring.
Moreover
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, authorities have to facilitate the process of
education
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 for all individuals in societies, particularly ethical
education
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.
Furthermore
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, educational sessions and campaigns should be held in prison to demonstrate the harmful impacts of committing crimes and indicate the ways to be good members of society. In conclusion, there are many causes that result in
this
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 problem, particularly the conditions of the environment, which may be related to their families,
education
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, or authorities.
Thus
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, when governments and members of societies cooperate, surely, they will solve
this
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 problem radically.

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task achievement
To further enhance the task response, provide more detailed and varied examples. This will add depth to your arguments and demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, make sure that all paragraphs are well-linked with transition words and phrases. This will ensure a more seamless flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a well-defined introduction and conclusion, which clearly outline and summarize the main points discussed.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task effectively by discussing both causes and solutions, providing a balanced response.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Rehabilitation
  • Reintegrate
  • Social stigma
  • Recidivism
  • Criminal records
  • Ex-offender
  • Associations
  • Comprehensive
  • Workforce
  • Mentoring
  • Incentivize
  • Stigmatize
  • Subsidies
  • Legitimate
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