IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

More and more people use private cars instead of taking public transport. What are the reasons for this trend? How can government encourage people to take public transport?

#people #cars #transport #trend #government
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It is becoming increasingly common that
people
 nowadays are more frequently using private
cars
 rather than taking
a public
Remove the article
public transport
a means of public transport
a mode of public transport
show examples
transport
. In
this
 essay, I will explain the key reasons behind the
happening
Verb problem
apply
show examples
trend and examine some tips for
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 to encourage citizens to take public
transport
 more often. There are two underlying reasons why numerous
people
 are likely to
use
 their own private
cars
. One major factor is the different level of
convinience
Correct your spelling
convenience
 that
people
 get if they
use
 private
cars
.
This
 normally
happen
Change the verb form
happens
show examples
 in developing countries, where the distribution of public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 are usually uneven, particularly
located
Verb problem
apply
show examples
in the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 city or in
business
Add an article
the business
a business
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
.
As a result
, citizens from rural or countryside are relatively
rely
Replace the word
reliant
show examples
with
Change the preposition
on
upon
show examples
 their private
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 to move from one place to another.
Furthermore
, since these days
people
 are more occupied, driving private
cars
 is the solution for them to have flexibility and effectiveness. They no longer need to waste their time commuting, guessing uncertainties arrival time of
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
 bus or tube.
Nevertheless
, the government can encourage
people
 to
use
 more public
transport
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 two ways.
Firstly
, by renovating a
well-maintain
Correct your spelling
well-maintained
show examples
 public transportation with always accurate arrival time, developing it to an integrated
transport
 and facilitating an affordable type of public vehicles could influence citizens to engage more with public
transport
.
Moreover
, it can be more
advantages
Replace the word
advantageous
show examples
 if the policymaker are restricting private
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
, as
this
 may produce higher
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
show examples
 and create traffic congestion.
Therefore
,
people
 unlikely to take public
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
, since there are no other
option
Fix the agreement mistake
options
show examples
. In conclusion, more
people
 are using their own vehicles
due to
 the undistributed public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 and their own personal reasons.
Therefore
, the government should create a great integrated and affordable environment
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 and
limitated
Correct your spelling
limit
 the
use
 of private vehicles on the road.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
You have done a good job addressing the task by examining both reasons for the trend and ways the government can encourage public transport use. Consider adding more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Some phrases and sentences could be clearer. For example, instead of 'people are relatively rely with their private transports', you could say, 'people heavily rely on their private vehicles'.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows logically from one to the next. While your structure is overall good, a few transitions could be smoother.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a strong framework for your discussion.
coherence cohesion
The main points are well-supported and your essay remains focused on the topic throughout.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • private cars
  • public transport
  • convenience
  • flexibility
  • comfort
  • privacy
  • time-saving
  • reliable
  • efficient
  • traffic congestion
  • parking space
  • safety
  • security
  • affordability
  • cost-effectiveness
  • awareness
  • information
  • incentives
  • initiatives
  • government
  • improvement
  • infrastructure
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