Many people these days choose to start their own business. Why do you think they choose to set up their own business? Do you think this is a negative development?
Nowadays, plenty of
people
prefer having their own businesses. In my opinion, this
is because they want to earn more money
and have freedom
, and certainly this
is a positive development.
Firstly
, the main reason why people
choose to create their own companies is to earn sufficient income for a comfortable life. In other words
, having of own business
allows them to get financial stability. Moreover
having money
contributes to gaining confidence in the future. For instance
, a person who works in a factory for a fixed wage has a scarcity of their budget, but consequently
, he becomes a businessman and eventually gets enough money
. As a resuly
, Correct your spelling
result
people
can improve their financial stability.
Secondly
, financial freedom
is vital for some people
and this
aspect is the main reason to do own business
. Another way of saying, when people
have sufficient money
it literally gives them immense possibilities to adjust their life effortlessly. For example
, travelling to interesting places of
the world becomes easier, Change preposition
in
also
like to purchase anything. As a result
freedom
obviously can be obtained by people
who work in their own businesses and they possess the opportunity to travel,live, and buy anything.
Finally
, as I suppose the heaving of own business
is certainly profitable and can help people
to reach financial independence and be freer in their desires, be more flexible and avoid negative moments with chiefs, eventually they will not suddenly dismiss. Moreover
the integration of the financial system dipper like a businessman and having abilities to make a Add a comma
Moreover,
business
gives all benefits
of earning Correct article usage
the benefits
money
easier and better.
To sum up
, while
some people
carry on to be blue workers, other people
work for themselves and earn a fortune and achieve freedom
in the majority vectors in their own
lives.Correct word choice
apply
Submitted by s_syedy on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the question correctly and includes relevant examples. However, there are areas where clarity and coherence can be improved, such as in the structure of your arguments and the clarity of your sentences.
coherence cohesion
Work on structuring your arguments more logically. For instance, consider separating each point into its own paragraph and provide clear transitions between ideas. This will help in making your essay more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
You have included a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in providing a structured response.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant and help to illustrate your points.