You child is going on a school trip overseas for week. The Headmaster is looking for parents to join the trip. Write a letter to state that you would like to join it. In your letter: Mention why you would like to join the trip. Ask some general questions about the trip. Mention how you can be helpful

#child #school #trip #week #headmaster #parents #questions

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to draw your attention that I would like to join the trip to Austria on the 15th of April. Let me start by saying that I decided to send

this

email because I would love supporting children and I recognize

this

is a wonderful time for sharing and laughing together.

However

, I am interested to know the length of the journey, and

also

if we must boost a specific vaccination.

Finally

, if we need to apply for a tourist visa through an agency or our own. As a parent of three children, I have previous experience and skills in childcare.

Besides

, I

also

hold a certification in

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

first aid, which I enclosed.

In addition

, I have a diploma in psychology. I hope that you will take my suggestions into consideration, and please do not hesitate to contact me to discuss

further

. Yours faithfully, Claudia Patino

Submitted by klaudia2301 on Wed May 22 2024

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task response

Try to elaborate more on the reasons why you would like to join the trip to make your motivation clearer.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that all questions about the trip are clearly stated and possibly grouped together for better readability.

suitable writing tone

The tone of the letter is polite and suitable for the context.

logical structure

There is a clear structure with paragraphs dedicated to different points of the letter.

greeting and closing

The closing is polite and provides a way for further contact.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

153 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural enrichment
educational experience
personal interest
itinerary
accommodation
roles and responsibilities
safety measures
emergency procedures
medical and disciplinary issues
first aid certification
language proficiency
volunteer experience
group management
supervision
schedule adherence
pre-trip preparations
post-trip follow-up
photo sharing
event recap

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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Children who are brought up in a family that does not have a lot of money are better prepared to deal with problems when they become adults than children who are brought up by wealthy parents. Do agree or disagree with the statement.

Too much emphasis is given for education of the young. More government money should be spent to free time activity of young people. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+