Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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In
this
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ultra-modern world, Many illnesses are curable but in poor countries' men and women can not pay the price. I personally believe that drug companies should reduce their product prices.
This
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essay will illustrate my personal reasons for the given question.
Firstly
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, We are humans and we should care about each other. Humanity is one of the most important reasons that we have to help other
people
Use synonyms
. When drug organizations give cheap medicine to these
people
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, diseases will eventually fade.
For example
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, in 1999, Sistan's
people
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had some health problems. LOP, a company based in Germany, sends cheap medicines to the city. Those drugs were not cheap at all in Germany. but LOP reduced its product's price for Sikh citizens and helped them to cure themselves.
Therefore
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, We have a highly good reason
that is
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called humanity.
Secondly
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, it can be beneficial for these types of organizations. If health
product's
Change noun form
product
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costs
declines
Change the verb form
decline
show examples
, the market will have some new marketing potential. To exemplify
this
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statement, It is very good for the market to have some innovative products
such
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as vitamins.
For example
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,
According to
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my own experience,
People
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will buy new kinds of vitamins a lot. They buy it because they think it makes their life longer. so, it can have lots of benefits for these organizations too.
To sum up
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, There are many reasons for reducing the cure products in poor countries like paying attention to humanity or marketing purposes. They should do it for humankind and for themselves. It means we have a better world for all of us.
Submitted by alikiadaah on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic well and provides a clear, personal stance on the issue. However, it would be beneficial to expand on your points with more elaboration and specific details. For example, you could include more statistics or real-life examples.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, try to use a wider range of transitional phrases to ensure a smooth flow between sentences and paragraphs. Some parts of the essay feel slightly disjointed. Also, be careful with your sentence structure and grammar, as there are some small errors that could be smoothed out.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and nicely frame your argument, making your essay easier to follow.
task achievement
The essay makes relevant points and shows a good understanding of the topic. The example you used about LOP and Sistan was a good addition to illustrate your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Pharmaceuticals
  • Generic drugs
  • Patent laws
  • Healthcare disparity
  • Subsidies
  • Non-Governmental Organizations (NGOs)
  • Intellectual property
  • Epidemiology
  • Affordability
  • Global health initiatives
  • Corporate social responsibility
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