Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others; however, think that change is always a goof thing. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, some strongly believe that not experiencing changes in their life is better than facing many ups and downs. The following essay will discuss two sides of
this
phenomenon and state personal opinions. It is obvious that the more difficult the life is, the more struggles people face;
hence
, choosing to avoid difficulties at all costs is a safe way.
In addition
, it creates a good routine in their lives which leads to no dangerous situations.
Furthermore
, it is a feeling of security when someone can control what is coming.
For example
, students maintain their good habits during studying, so they have a sense of safety and continue with their ability in a chosen field .
On the other hand
, the changes in life bring various benefits.
Firstly
, the more knowledge and skills people take in, the more confident they become. Students are the best example of
this
phenomenon.
Instead
of obtaining knowledge from schools or books, some expand their horizon by gaining new things from other materials;
thus
, they are more noticeable in their class.
Secondly
,
not
Correct pronoun usage
it not
show examples
only positively on the development of children, but
also
satisfies teenagers’s passions and curiosity. To cite an instance, humans escape their safe zone and meet lots of obstacles,
then
they may come up with distinctive ideas in order to tackle their problem.
As a result
, they can achieve success easily and upgrade themselves simultaneously. In conclusion, both methods are useful to enhance the progress and innovative process of people.
However
, many changes are better ways for their lives.

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coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence, consider using more transitional phrases to link your ideas more smoothly between paragraphs. This can help your essay flow better and make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
Your essay would benefit from more specific examples and details. Consider adding one or two personal anecdotes or case studies for the points you make to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear and concise introduction and conclusion, which frame the essay well.
task achievement
You have successfully addressed both perspectives on the given topic, showing an understanding of different viewpoints.
task achievement
Your use of language is generally clear and effective in conveying your ideas, making the essay easy to understand.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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