There are more new towns nowadays, it is more important to include public parks and sports for individuals to spend their free time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In
the
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apply
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recent decades, new towns emerged
with
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at
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a startling pace and
has
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have
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brought inhabitants great living conditions. To better improve public
health
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and build up harmonious communities, many
people
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advocate for increasing public
parks
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and
sports
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facilities. I strongly agree with
this
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idea, and I believe it is beneficial to individuals and the
scociety
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society
as well.
To begin
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with,
parks
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and
sports
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fields provide local citizens with more opportunities to
do
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exercise
thus
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benefiting
people
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's physical fitness
as well as
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mental
health
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. It is universally acknowledged that
sports
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are good for our
body
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body's
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health
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,
however
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,
people
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nowadays rarely get time for regular exercise from their busy daily routine,
for example
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, nine-to-five workers and full-time students, some
people
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even cannot afford to go to the gym every day.
Therefore
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, public infrastructure gives residents free access to maintain a healthy lifestyle with regular exercise.
Moreover
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, relaxing in the
parks
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can relieve
people
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's stress from work and studies,
thus
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enhancing their mental
health
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.
In addition
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, public
parks
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and
sports
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fields are the perfect places for families to have
their
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leisure activities and for communities to hold some special events,
thus
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strengthening family bonds and enhancing
neighborly
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neighbourly
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relationships.
For instance
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, it may become a beautiful city landscape if some families are having a picnic in the park, couples are holding hands and walking on the pathways, some young men are jogging, and some children are playing a football match. These public facilities are
definetely
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definitely
important for individuals and the community.
To conclude
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, public
parks
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and
sports
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play a vital role in modern life, especially in
the
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apply
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emerging towns and cities. Though some
people
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would argue that money should be spent on other infrastructures
such
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as public
transportations
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transportation
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, I still believe reasonable governmental investment in
such
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public facilities will bring advantageous effects to all citizens and the
scociety
Correct your spelling
society
as a whole.

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task achievement
You have effectively presented your views, but ensure all ideas are expounded upon with equal depth. Perhaps elaborate more on the examples provided.
coherence and cohesion
A few spelling errors and awkward phrases were noticed. Ensure to proofread your essay to correct such minor mistakes.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured and provide a good framework for the essay.
task achievement
You have clearly stated your stance and supported it logically with relevant examples and arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • communal space
  • recreational activities
  • community bonding
  • social interactions
  • physical exercise
  • physical and mental health
  • aesthetic appeal
  • potential residents
  • community events
  • sense of identity
  • sense of belonging
  • environmental sustainability
  • reduce carbon footprints
  • habitats for wildlife
  • serene environment
  • improve the quality of life
  • relax and unwind
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