There are more new towns nowadays, it is more important to include public parks and sports for individuals to spend their free time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In
the
recent decades, new towns emerged Correct article usage
apply
with
a startling pace and Change preposition
at
has
brought inhabitants great living conditions. To better improve public Change the verb form
have
health
and build up harmonious communities, many people
advocate for increasing public parks
and sports
facilities. I strongly agree with this
idea, and I believe it is beneficial to individuals and the scociety
as well.
Correct your spelling
society
To begin
with, parks
and sports
fields provide local citizens with more opportunities to do
exercise Unnecessary verb
apply
thus
benefiting people
's physical fitness as well as
mental health
. It is universally acknowledged that sports
are good for our body
Change noun form
body's
health
, however
, people
nowadays rarely get time for regular exercise from their busy daily routine, for example
, nine-to-five workers and full-time students, some people
even cannot afford to go to the gym every day. Therefore
, public infrastructure gives residents free access to maintain a healthy lifestyle with regular exercise. Moreover
, relaxing in the parks
can relieve people
's stress from work and studies, thus
enhancing their mental health
.
In addition
, public parks
and sports
fields are the perfect places for families to have their
leisure activities and for communities to hold some special events, Correct pronoun usage
apply
thus
strengthening family bonds and enhancing neighborly
relationships. Change the spelling
neighbourly
For instance
, it may become a beautiful city landscape if some families are having a picnic in the park, couples are holding hands and walking on the pathways, some young men are jogging, and some children are playing a football match. These public facilities are definetely
important for individuals and the community.
Correct your spelling
definitely
To conclude
, public parks
and sports
play a vital role in modern life, especially in the
emerging towns and cities. Though some Correct article usage
apply
people
would argue that money should be spent on other infrastructures such
as public transportations
, I still believe reasonable governmental investment in Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
such
public facilities will bring advantageous effects to all citizens and the scociety
as a whole.Correct your spelling
society
Submitted by carriexue23 on
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task achievement
You have effectively presented your views, but ensure all ideas are expounded upon with equal depth. Perhaps elaborate more on the examples provided.
coherence and cohesion
A few spelling errors and awkward phrases were noticed. Ensure to proofread your essay to correct such minor mistakes.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured and provide a good framework for the essay.
task achievement
You have clearly stated your stance and supported it logically with relevant examples and arguments.
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