Some unversities offer online courses as an alternative to classes delivered on campus. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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In today's modern age, online classes are used as a new way of studying
instead
of conventional ways in higher
education
. The spread of
technological
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the technological
show examples
approach leads to
opposite
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the opposite
an opposite
show examples
proposition in
current
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the current
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community as to whether the innovations of
education
bring
its
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apply
show examples
convenience as a benefit to human life, even the detrimental aspects affecting
to
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apply
show examples
the quintessential people in a specific country directly.
This
writer argues that Internet-based courses constitute an impediment to
the
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apply
show examples
creativity and
the
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apply
show examples
concentration on lessons. It must be understood that the negative impact
of
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apply
show examples
online courses
having
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have
show examples
on learners
are
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is
show examples
the things
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something
show examples
that should be considered seriously. Obviously,
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
online can result in
being lazy
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laziness
show examples
as well as
laking
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a lack of
show examples
initiative in thoughts, leading to
hinder
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hindered
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opportunities in order to foster
a
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apply
show examples
profound knowledge. To exemplify, during the Covid-19 pandemic, residents are banned
to go
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from going
show examples
out for any purposes, so if they wish to approach
education
, there is only one possible way
that
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apply
show examples
studying on the internet,
however
, it just
allow
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allows
show examples
students
to access lessons
more
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apply
show examples
easier
Replace the word
easily
show examples
but not help them
broden
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broaden
the horizon effectively.
As a consequence
, after
studying-online
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studying
show examples
days, most
students
tend to depend on technical devices and
informations
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information
pieces of information
show examples
from available sources on the internet rather than solve problems by themselves,
finding
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becoming
show examples
less self-active than
in
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apply
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the previous day. Another point worth considering is the drawback of distraction in distance classes. To explain, when learner
surrounded
Add a missing verb
are surrounded
show examples
by many entertaining things at their place, they can not focus on only the lesson
displaying
Wrong verb form
displayed
show examples
on the screen.
Moreover
, it leads to the limitation of interaction between lecturer and
students
.
As a result
,
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
cannot find
the
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a
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suitable approach to the ability of
students
as well as
students
do not catch up with the pace of lessons.
Hence
, the distraction of online courses causes many disadvantages namely the insufficient face-to-face interaction and concentration.
To conclude
,
the
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apply
show examples
online learning has negative
inluences
Correct your spelling
influences
influence
on new generations
such
as the distraction and the lack of initiative.
Therefore
, it is
sighnificant
Correct your spelling
significant
that the tight combination of both aspects ought to be examined thoroughly and carefully to create the right evolutionary development of
education
in the future.
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task achievement
Your essay covers some critical aspects of online courses but could be clearer. Ensure you present a balanced view or state your position more clearly.
task achievement
Support your main points with more specific examples. More data or personal anecdotes could lend strength to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your essay. Transition phrases like 'Moreover,' 'Consequently,' etc., will make it easier to follow your argument.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen your introduction and conclusion. Make sure they clearly outline your main argument and succinctly wrap up your points.
task achievement
Good effort in addressing the question and considering both sides of the argument.
task achievement
The main points are clear and relevant to the topic, such as the impact on creativity and concentration.
coherence cohesion
You have utilized a range of vocabulary appropriate for the topic, which is commendable!

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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