Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to child's development as other subject, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Art
classes nowadays are required within specific schools because when kids engage in drawing and painting, they're encouraged to develop cognitive abilities. They experiment with colours, shapes, and lines, which helps develop their problem-solving skills and imagination.
This
creativity can be a game-changer as they grow and encounter new challenges. Each has its own perks,
thus
I still hold to the belief that its features have many benefits for
children
in many ways. First and Foremost, the enhancement of emotional expression and mental well-being through
art
allows
children
to express their emotions and thoughts. It is incontrovertible that some
children
find difficulty in expressing their feelings and thoughts verbally. Drawing and painting enable them to communicate in an alternative way. Whether they are sad, happy, or delighted it provides
themwith
Correct your spelling
them with
a space to manifest their emotion.
Thus
,
this
art
form is considered to be crucial for mental health and emotional development. Another point worth considering is that it is not essential to learn painting and drawing because there are a range of options for
children
to select occupations apart from working as individuals for the
art
.
In other words
, it can be understood that the characteristic of those jobs requires the frequency of using the brain, leading to depleted brain matter, which puts young people have been pressure nowadays.
However
,
children
can take part in academic work in order to prevent them from being time-consuming for activities not are their area. In conclusion , there are some advantageous points of developing artistic skills and finding more hidden gems in the artistic industry for immature individuals who must study
this
subject in educational environments. What is more , schools should prompt and organize more competitive tournaments of
art
to improve all the talents
instead
of forcing students to learn them dryly.

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coherence cohesion
General structure of the essay could be clearer; consider using a traditional structure of introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion to improve coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction should clearly introduce the topic and state your position. The current introduction abruptly starts discussing the topic without a clear thesis statement.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your points. Currently, the arguments are somewhat generic and could benefit from more concrete examples or evidence.
task achievement
It's important to maintain focus on the essay question. Some parts of the essay drift away from the central argument about whether art should be compulsory in high school.
task achievement
The essay recognizes the benefits of artistic education and provides multiple points of view to justify its stance.
coherence cohesion
The essay ends with a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points, which helps to give the essay a sense of closure.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Summary
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • critical thinking
  • emotional expression
  • mental well-being
  • creativity
  • innovation
  • cultural awareness
  • fine motor skills
  • inclusivity
  • artistic skills
  • balanced curriculum
  • holistic education
  • constructive outlet
  • academic pressure
  • brain stimulation
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