Art classes, such as painting and drawing are as important to child's developmet as other subjecs, so it should be compulsory in highschool. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Presently, the topic of the role of
art
class is an important argument point. It is the opinion of this
writer that painting lessons should not be mandatory in highschool
as Correct your spelling
high school
its
Correct your spelling
it is
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
in
social life and the choice for Change preposition
for
Correct article usage
a carrer
carrer
.
It must be understood that both painting and drawing Correct your spelling
career
have
not too Add a missing verb
do have
much
practical Correct quantifier usage
many
applies
. Nowadays, Replace the word
applications
social
tends to digital Replace the word
society
and
technology to improve, and Correct word choice
apply
corporation
are employing staff that Fix the agreement mistake
corporations
professional
in those fields, so that it affects Add a missing verb
are professional
a
lot on Correct article usage
the
profession
selection of each Replace the word
professional
students
. As a Change to a singular noun
student
results
, Correct the article-noun agreement
result
art
has no contribution in
Change preposition
to
students
' subject
, as there are Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
little
jobs for Correct quantifier usage
few
students
who are choosing art
as their career after they graduate. Therefore
, art
should be an optional subject
as students
can freely choose it or not to focus on their main domains to have widely
Change the adverb
wide
option
for their jobs.
Another key component of the case for painting and drawing is the option of their career. It should be self-evident that Fix the agreement mistake
options
art
does not have much
choices in career, especially Correct quantifier usage
many
fields
Change preposition
in fields
that
related to engineering and technology, which are the hottest Correct pronoun usage
apply
pick
with Fix the agreement mistake
picks
youth
Correct article usage
the youth
generations
new digital era. Fix the agreement mistake
generation
Moreover
, pandemic
nowadays Fix the agreement mistake
pandemics
also
have no demand for art
as they want to experience new things rather than artistic value. Consequently
, there are a lot of postgraduate students
cannot
find any jobs because there are few works for Correct pronoun usage
who cannot
art
degrees. Thereby
, Rephrase
Therefore
students
should be careful when choosing art
as a subject
for study in higher education.
In conclusion, it can be seen that art
should not be a compulsory subject
at school, because it is hard for students
to choose their subjects to studyand
improve their abilities in each field. Correct your spelling
study and
Therefore
, art
should be non-compulsory
Correct article usage
a non-compulsory
subject
to students
freely
choose or not in their synthesis Fix the infinitive
to freely
subject
.Submitted by [email protected] on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Ensure your arguments are substantiated with clear and specific examples. For instance, provide more concrete examples of why art might not be applicable in the modern job market.
coherence cohesion
Try to organize your thoughts more coherently by using linking words and phrases. This will help clarify the relationships between your points and create a smoother flow.
language use
Be careful with grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, 'painting lessons should not be mandatory in highschool as its neccessary in social life and the choice for carrer.' should be 'painting lessons should not be mandatory in high school as they are not necessary for social life or career choices.'
coherence cohesion
Consider separating your arguments into different paragraphs for a clearer structure. For instance, one paragraph focusing on the lack of practical applications and another on career prospects would be better.
task achievement
You have presented a clear standpoint from the very beginning and provided relevant reasons to support your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion reiterates your main points logically and coherently, which strengthens the overall argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!