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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that having sport in schools is a waste of time and resources, whilst other people believe that sport in schools is a vital part of education. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #sport #schools #waste #time #resources #whilst #part #education
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The concept of
sports
 facilities in education centres has gained publicity over the past couple of decades.
While
 some people contend that ensuring
sports
activities
 wastes children's
time
 and is their own concern,others,including me,believe that it is an integral part of studying to promote a healthy lifestyle among
students
. On the one side,one of the key arguments in favour of
sports
 wasting
time
 is that a school is a place where
students
 commute there to gain knowledge and prepare
a
Change preposition
for a
show examples
better future for themselves and it is their own responsibility to prioritize their health or not.
As a consequence
,engaging in
sports
 exercises in education centres can waste their
time
.
Furthermore
,some
students
 are more eager to do sport rather than learning something. In
this
 case,providing schools with
sports
 facilities can entice children to do them and deter them from studying,ultimately infringing on their future.
On the other hand
,I would side with those who believe that physical exercises play a vital role in learning. It seems to me that laden
students
 with many lessons for 7-8 hours without any leisure
activities
 can cause several health problems.
Therefore
,
students
 should do physical exercises to promote a healthy lifestyle and
also
,with a clear mind,children can grasp lessons fully. In conclusion,the question of whether schools should ensure
sports
activities
 or it is just a waste of
time
 and they are priorities of
students
 has valid points on both sides. It seems to me that it is necessary to acknowledge the importance of physical
activities
 in education for
students
'
overall
 well-being and better academic performance
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task achievement
Clarify and develop your arguments further to provide stronger support for your views. Consider using specific examples or data to back up your claims, making your argument more persuasive and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Consider improving the flow of your essay by using a variety of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs. This will enhance the overall coherence and cohesion of your text, making it more fluid and easier to follow.
general
Be wary of minor grammatical errors and ensure subject-verb agreement throughout your essay. Also, pay attention to the appropriate use of articles ('a', 'an', and 'the'). This will add to the overall clarity and professionalism of your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical fitness
  • Holistic development
  • Cognitive function
  • Teamwork
  • Interpersonal skills
  • Extracurricular
  • Academic achievement
  • Resource allocation
  • Curriculum
  • Inequality in opportunities
  • Life skills
  • Well-rounded education
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