Some schools prefer to teach specialised subjects to students after the age of 15, while others suggest that all the subjects should be taught throughout school life. What are the benefits of these 2 approaches? Which one is better, in your opinion?

It has been an attractive topic that which kind of
education
our schools should offer: general
education
or
core
curriculum
?
This
question has arisen with the increasing complexity of contemporary
knowledge
structure, whose colossal size forces us to choose between teaching students some particularly general
knowledge
and helping them obtain some specific skills with the cost of learning
fewer
Correct quantifier usage
less
show examples
about the world. To better understand the issue,
this
essay will first discuss the merits of general
education
and thence that of the
core
curriculum
. After that, I will present my own perspective about which is more desirable.
First,
one of the advantages of general
education
is that it can help cultivate a comprehensively developed individual. To illustrate, there was a notorious hacker named Jack, who was notable for penetrating many international companies' inner networks,
such
as Nvidia, and City Bank. After being arrested and prosecuted, he partly blamed these crimes on his lack of moral
education
.
This
example suggests that merely a skill-related
curriculum
cannot cultivate a person who is useful for society. What is at least equally crucial is the moral
education
that usually comes from general
education
,
Remove the comma
apply
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or humanitarian courses. Unlike the humanistic literacy offered by general
education
, the
core
curriculum
's advantages are more concerned with conferring specific abilities.
For instance
, in my hometown, there is a School of Textiles, whose students concentrate more on
knowledge
pertinent to fabric production.
This
kind of concentration makes them extraordinarily skilled in producing high-quality cloth after graduation.
This
example indicates that
although
general
education
can promote the comprehensive development of people, being engrossed with a certain course is more likely to produce experts in some fields. To summarize, general
education
can cultivate a comprehensively-developed individual
while
a
core
curriculum
produces people with specific skills.
This
is the unavoidable consequence of nowadays
knowledge
structure. What we should pay attention to is to determine which is more essential during a certain period rather than adopting a single approach in
education
. Only in
this
way can an individual with both integrity and outstanding skills be brought up in the school.
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task achievement
To achieve a higher score, ensure you provide examples and explanations that are more directly tied to the arguments you make. This will strengthen the relevance of your points.
coherence cohesion
Work on providing a more seamless flow from one idea to the next. This can be achieved by using a wider range of cohesive devices and transitional phrases.
task achievement
Try to stay focused on maintaining clarity throughout the essay. A few sentences, such as the one about the School of Textiles, could be clearer if rephrased.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, providing a clear framework for your essay.
complete response
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both types of education, showing a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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