At the present time the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

To begin

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with, one of the most prevalent trends in the contemporary world is the cumulative increase in the youth population,

While

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many

people

Use synonyms

argue that fewer older

people

Use synonyms

are beneficial, others believe that more youths contribute to society.

This

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stance will be proven by carefully analysing how adults benefit the nation.

Firstly

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, the main reason is that young folks can work long hours, so they can produce more goods and they have more technical knowledge and utilise their skills for manufacturing modern equipment. Another factor is that

due to

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the good health of the young generation, they can work long hours and perform well as compared to elder

people

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For example

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, in India, about 40% population is under 30 years which is why India is a big market for software engineers and qualified doctors.

As a result

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, it is a fact that adults can migrate easily from one country to another on the basis of their skills, for elders it becomes very hard to migrate to different places

due to

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their personal and family commitments.

Secondly

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due to

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the increase in new developments, youngsters are becoming more intelligent as compared to ancient times. They invented new gadgets for humans and made their lives easy.

In addition

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, there are no extra expenses for young

people

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such

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as health treatment

due to

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their young ages. So the Authorities using that money on other projects.

As a consequence

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, it is evident why China is progressing every day exporting goods all over the world and becoming the world’s second-largest economy. In conclusion, it is undeniable senior citizens are the nation’s asset because they provide important advice to their families

as well as

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society with their practical life experiences. Following the analysis of both sides

it is clear that

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adults are always the backbone of their states because they boost the country’s economy.

Further

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, it is predicted that new inventions are going to continue in the future as well to make a better world.

rbtech65

May 22, 2024

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task achievement

You have addressed the main points of the topic, but some areas lack depth and specific examples. Aim to provide more detailed examples to reinforce your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion. However, the logical flow between some points can be improved. Work on making smoother transitions between ideas.

coherence cohesion

While the essay is understandable and covers the main points, some parts are slightly repetitive. Try to vary your sentence structures and avoid redundancy.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are clearly distinguished, providing a good overall structure to the essay.

task achievement

You have made a good effort to cover both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, which shows a balanced approach.

task achievement

The essay discusses some relevant examples which help to support your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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14
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

330 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

demographic
workforce
productivity
innovation
skilled labor
social development
technology
dividend
competition
resources
social welfare
unrest
instability
healthcare
elderly care

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At the present time the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Your opinion

The workplace nowadays is trying to employ the equal number of females and males. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Many people work from home using modern technology today. Some people think that only the workers benefits from this and not the employers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?