Some people think that children who spend a lot of time reading children’s story book are wasting their time which could be better used doing other more useful activities. To what extend do you agree?

Some people think that
children
who spend a lot of time reading
children
's storybooks are wasting their time, which could be better used doing other more useful
activities
. I agree with the statement that
instead
of spending too much time reading
stories
,
children
should engage in more productive
activities
.
This
essay will explore several reasons for
this
approach.
Firstly
, despite the many positive outcomes of reading
stories
for
children
,
such
as improving imagination and memory, there are some drawbacks to excessive reading.
For instance
,
children
may lose their connection to
reality
because they are not capable enough to distinguish
stories
from
reality
.
This
is a serious issue that must be taken into account properly.
Furthermore
, to address these issues, parents must be aware of their child's abilities and guide them
accordingly
.
This
provides an opportunity to replace excessive reading with
activities
that reinforce a healthy understanding of
reality
.
Moreover
, reading
stories
is an activity that does not require much physical effort. I recommend engaging in hobbies that require more active participation.
For example
, playing football with friends could be a
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
choice because it involves physical exertion and social interaction, making
children
more social.
Thus
, sports
activities
may be a proper alternative to reading
children
's
stories
.
To conclude
,
although
some individuals suggest that reading
stories
to
children
is beneficial, I firmly disagree with allowing
children
to read excessively.
While
acknowledging the advantages of reading for
children
's development, overly reading can result in a distorted connection with
reality
.
Besides
, reading does not require significant physical effort. Monitoring
children
's
activities
and guiding them towards more productive pursuits that match their abilities is crucial. I reiterate that sports
activities
,
such
as football, would be a better option as long as they suit the child's abilities.
Submitted by Yasar Khan on

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task achievement
Ensure that each main point is fully supported with relevant and specific examples. In your essay, you mentioned that parents should guide their children, but you might consider adding a specific scenario or example to illustrate this point better.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph leads naturally to the next. The transition between the discussion of the psychological impacts of reading and the suggestion of physical activities could be smoother.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your argument.
task achievement
You have raised relevant points related to both the psychological and physical aspects of children's activities, which makes your argument well-rounded and comprehensive.

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