In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

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Hunger
among
people
has not stopped in the world even if there were many achievements in the agriculture industry.
This
essay will first discuss how poverty in some countries and
food
waste are the primary causes of
this
growing problem and
then
outline how governments help their citizens and innovative technologies are the most viable solutions. One cause of
hunger
in some countries is poverty. Some nations suffer from the bad level of countries’ economy and it leads to the poverty of the citizens.
As a result
, they can not afford to buy groceries and
food
, because of low salaries and no possibilities.
In addition
, wasting
food
is one of the main causes of existing
hunger
in the world.
In other words
, many
restaurants
trash the
food
, which can not be eaten or customers usually leave the
food
on their plates.
For instance
, in Almaty, there are a lot of
restaurants
, which trash expired
food
.
This
number of
food
is rising every year and can even be counted to billions. The best solution to
this
problem is government help to their citizens. If countries, where there is
hunger
, helped their
people
financially until the economy of the country gets well, they would be able to afford to purchase goods and needs.
Moreover
, innovative technologies can help
people
to buy some
food
with discounts and it will be useful
as well as
for
restaurants
.
That is
to say, if
restaurants
use apps, that show the list of places, where customers can purchase
food
with the close date of expiry using some discounts, they will not trash all the
food
,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they have.
For example
, in Almaty, many
people
use an app, which shows the list of
restaurants
, bakeries and other places with expiring products. In conclusion, many
people
feel hungry in the world even if a lot of advancements have been made in agriculture.
However
, if some governments help nations with their
food
needs and innovative technologies are implemented, the problem can be alleviated.
Submitted by kalelkkhana on

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task achievement
Ensure a thorough understanding of the task. While you have addressed the main points, delving a bit deeper into the reasons behind poverty and food wastage would enhance your argument.
coherence cohesion
Linking words and phrases are present, but at times they can be more varied. Try using a wider range of cohesive devices to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Strengthen the main points by adding more detailed examples or evidence. This will help make your arguments more convincing and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is mostly clear, but the essay could benefit from smoother transitions between ideas. Make sure each paragraph logically leads to the next.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples which add to the persuasiveness of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The main points are introduced and generally well-supported.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
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