Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people that high
education
is the best way to get a
job
.
While
others reckon that developing soft
skills
and getting
experience
is more important. I believe that working earlier and getting
experience
is more important,
Correct your spelling
although
althogh
Correct your spelling
although
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
education
is
also
important There are two main reasons that getting
experience
and developing soft
skills
.
Firstly
,
experience
and soft
skills
give
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
self-confidient
Correct your spelling
self-confidence
,
while
he is working. Because
experience
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
of
job
Correct article usage
the job
show examples
, those who have
experience
know about what they should do, a lot of people are
confidient
Correct your spelling
confident
when they are doing their
job
, and when they have
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
posession
Correct your spelling
possessions
on
job
Add an article
the job
show examples
.
Secondly
, many successful entrepreneurs and leaders attribute their success to experiences outside of formal
education
.
Theremore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
, improved social
skills
provide
easy going
Add a hyphen
easy-going
show examples
dialogue with
colleguas
Correct your spelling
colleagues
, that makes communication more comfortable.
As a result
, a lot of companies accept persons with huge
experience
and developed soft.
However
, there is another point to consider, and it is advanced
education
. Because university
education
explains
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
your
job
details, teaches theoretical knowledge and gives specialized training that gives
experience
, but
this
is
Verb problem
does
show examples
not count as much as real work
experience
. Another reason, attending university can offer opportunities for networking, which is beneficial for career prospects.
Besides
, in some industries,
such
as technology and arts, a portfolio or demonstrated skill can be more important than a formal degree.
Thus
, people who desire to work in technology and arts
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
should have high
education
.
Consequently
,
experience
and soft
skills
are important for
application
Add an article
the application
an application
show examples
to the
job
, especially
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
person
Change noun form
person's
show examples
self-confidient
Correct your spelling
self-confidence
,
on the other
hand
Add the comma(s)
hand,
show examples
higher
education
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
gives theoretical knowledge. In my view
experience
and soft
skills
more
Correct your spelling
are
show examples
principal
Submitted by erkasiet2008 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

logical structure
Ensure your essay has a clear and effective structure. Paragraphs should have a clear main idea and should logically flow into each other.
introduction conclusion present
Introduction and conclusion should clearly restate the positions that you will argue for and summarize the key points discussed.
supported main points
Some points are not fully developed or supported with specific examples. Add more detailed examples to strengthen your argument.
complete response
Be clear about your position and make sure each argument supports this position directly and logically.
clear comprehensive ideas
Try to express your ideas in a more organized and clear manner. Avoid repetition and ensure each sentence contributes to your argument.
relevant specific examples
Include more specific examples and case studies to enrich your essay and provide stronger support to your arguments.
complete response
You have a clear understanding of both perspectives on this topic, which you address in your essay.
introduction conclusion present
The essay includes an introduction and conclusion, which help in structuring your response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • theoretical knowledge
  • specialized training
  • networking
  • baseline requirement
  • financial burden
  • hands-on experience
  • practical skills
  • soft skills
  • dynamic job market
  • entrepreneur
  • formal education
  • portfolio
  • hybrid approach
What to do next:
Look at other essays: