some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work on the country where they did their training. others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is agreed by many that experts
such
as doctors and engineers have to serve their Linking Words
country
where they spent their study. Other people argue that they should have the freedom to get a job abroad. In my opinion, I believe that a person has their own consideration to have a better living Use synonyms
according to
the opportunity they have either to stay in their home Linking Words
country
or to go abroad to find better income.
People who choose to stay in their homeland have beneficial advantages in cultural and linguistic. They have no barriers in that area. In Indonesia, Use synonyms
for example
, even though there are enormous ethnic which may lead to a different culture, but still at least have the same language that unites them. Linking Words
Nevertheless
, individuals lose their chance to get good compensation since they have to compete with their colleagues and Linking Words
due to
a lack of fields that fit with their capacities.
Linking Words
While
others believe that, in order to get a better living, a person needs to find a job outside the Linking Words
country
. Unless there will be challengesUse synonyms
come up
, living in another Verb problem
apply
country
may raise the chance to improve their experience, Use synonyms
well
paid, and increase wealth. Add a missing verb
be well
Furthermore
, valued skills could be brought to be applied in their homeland whenever they come back.
In conclusion, despite the fact that staying in their own Linking Words
country
is a comfort zone, it is worth trying to move on to get various advantages that someone will get to have a job outside.Use synonyms
Submitted by nourmarasyidah on
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task achievement
Your essay successfully discusses both views and provides a clear opinion. However, try to strengthen the reasons for staying in one's home country by providing more specific examples or statistics.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence structure and clarity. Some sentences are slightly awkward, which can affect the overall readability of the essay. For example: 'Unless there will be challenges come up, living in another country may raise the chance to improve their experience, well paid, and increase wealth.'
coherence cohesion
Your essay could benefit from a more detailed conclusion. Rather than just summarizing the points, try to give a strong final statement that reinforces your opinion.
task achievement
You have presented a balanced discussion and acknowledged both perspectives on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction is clear and sets up the essay well.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with logical progression from point to point.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.