In some countries, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Some children are advised to devote themselves as much as possible so that they can attain their goals.
This
essay will suggest that a growth mindset and increased motivation are the biggest advantages of this
, but disillusionment with truth and disregard for external factors are the primary disadvantages.
The main advantages of encouraging minors to attempt to accomplish their objectives are cognitive development and enhanced determination. The belief that there are limitless possibilities allows minors not only to take on new experiences but also
to view challenges as opportunities for self-improvement and self-exploration, which is of fundamental importance to their mindset. Furthermore
, words of encouragement do instil great resolution and confidence in juveniles so that they can recover more quickly after failure. For example
, teenagers who engage in skateboarding and are often taught to get up after they fall show stronger perseverance than their peers.
Despite these advantages, children will soon be disappointed about unfulfilled results, and sometimes they seem to neglect what else matters to their goals. Firstly
, when children realize that they cannot make any further
progress regardless of their expenditure on work, they are likely to feel completely disheartened, which undermines their confidence and self-esteem. Secondly
, an overemphasis on final results can lead to the underestimation of other factors that are partly essential for the achievement such
as well-being, social relationships, or leisure pursuits. For instance
, students who strive to have good academic performance tend to skip meals to spend more time studying, and this
can lead to stomachaches that distract them from focusing on their studies.
In conclusion, incentivizing minors to try hard to reach their objectives can be advantageous if it allows them to be more resolute and mentally developed. However
, they should be told not to have unrealistic expectations and should consider success’s possible components.Submitted by banhbao0565 on
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task achievement
Your essay is well-organized and addresses the prompt comprehensively. To enhance it further, you could include a slightly more varied vocabulary and more diverse sentence structures.
coherence cohesion
While the coherence and structure of your essay is strong, make sure each paragraph flows seamlessly to the next. You can use more transitional phrases to maintain a smooth progression of ideas.
task achievement
You provided specific examples to support your points, which greatly strengthens your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly outlines the advantages and disadvantages you will discuss, and your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?