In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinion on this?

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There has been a constant debate about whether

children

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should be able to participate in paid jobs.

While

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some people say that

this

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is not right, others believe that

this

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is crucial for

children

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's development. In my opinion, I strongly argue that it is wrong for

children

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to engage in these paid employments, which I will elaborate more on in my essay.

Firstly

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this

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can have negative impacts on

children

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's health. Regarding physical health, certain body parts in

children

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such

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as bones and muscles, are not fully developed, which can be severely damaged or badly affected as

children

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take on intense work.

For example

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, a significant number of

children

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are employed in the perfume-making industry.

This

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heavily impacted

children

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with its harsh working conditions, including having to wake up early, and fight with mosquitoes and allergies to flower pollen, causing them multiple health problems

such

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as irritation, a disrupted sleeping schedule, and dengue.

Besides

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children

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engaging in paid jobs can cause

children

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to not experience their childhood to the fullest. It is true that certain jobs can cause

children

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to undergo pressure;

nevertheless

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, a number of parents still force them to because it means more income.

For instance

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, with the growth of the Internet and social media platforms, a majority of families are making their offspring create content in order to post and earn money from advertisement deals. Though

this

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might seem like a suitable career, a number of

children

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are threatened by hate comments about them, leading to harmful development. In conclusion,

while

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in some cases it is true that occupations can help

children

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learn valuable lessons, I strongly suggest

otherwise

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and believe that it is better to consider other options to achieve the same goal since paid duties can heavily impact

children

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, both physically and mentally.

minhlieu.hndWed Jul 31 2024

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task achievement

Your essay presents a clear position and addresses the topic comprehensively. However, improving the clarity and depth of your ideas can enhance your argument. You could provide more varied and specific examples to strengthen your points.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is logically structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. Each paragraph supports your main position, but ensure smoother transitions between points and paragraphs to improve flow. Providing more detailed explanations and avoiding repetition will also make the essay more cohesive.

task achievement

Your introduction effectively sets up the argument and clearly states your position.

task achievement

The essay makes effective use of examples to illustrate points, adding credibility to your arguments.

coherence cohesion

The use of paragraphs to separate different ideas enhances readability and coherence.

9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Child labor
Exploitation
Minimum age
Work experience
Survival
Taking responsibility
Education
Poverty
Legal restrictions
Physical toll
Psychological impact
Cultural perceptions
International conventions
Economic impact
Work-study programs
Skilled labor
Unskilled labor
Developing economies
Moral implications
Professional development

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In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinion on this?

Write a letter to your frind who lives in aqnother country and in your letter: a. Invite him to a public event in your country b. Describe the public event. c. Explain about other plans you have for your friennd when he will visit.

Sometimes spouses have to live far away from each other. Maintaining a long distance relationship is sometimes difficult and straining. What do you think are the main reasons for long distance relationships? What can be done to help couples feel closer in such situations?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many people try to create a balance between their professional life and their personal life. However, very few are able to achieve such a balance. What problems stop people from achieving a work-life balance? How can these problems be overcome?