Some people think that individuals today are more dependent in each other. Others believe people have become independent. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In recent years, life around the world has become more competitive and strict that led to more crowds relying on their parents or everybody who lives nearby .
However
, others suppose that people
have turned into unconstrained. This
author will discuss both views and give their own standpoint.
It can easily seen that the worldwide lifestyle requires a lot of high standards in job or study, so many young people
get stressed and decide to live dependent on other individuals. In addition
, most teenagers around the earth believe their parents must raise and feed money or accommodation for them. For instance
, Japan, this
country has the largest number of middle-aged community who still live with their mother and father in one house.
From another point of view, qualifications are required in order to gain a better chance at a job and higher education, therefore
almost all young people
need to leave their homes and go to other cities or urban areas to get more opportunities and they learn how to reside without family and become freethinking in their life. Additionally
, some countries encourage people
to leave their kids to live far from there in order to become more individualistic. Annually, in America, thousands of students set off their families to move to another place to inhabit.
In my view, communities that live independently or dependent
rely on their awareness can have different effects on their survival. Independent living can help them experience many problems in social and become more mature.
In general, it still has negative and positive effects, but live rely on myself has more advantages than depending on others. I think that teenagers should learn how to live by themselves to mature.Correct word choice
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task achievement
Clarify and develop your main points more fully to enhance the completeness and clarity of the argument. Expanding on your examples with more detail can also help strengthen your arguments and provide more support for your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Aim for more diversity in sentence structures to make your essay more engaging and to demonstrate a wider range of language skills.
coherence cohesion
Work on linking your ideas more smoothly with a variety of transition words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. This will help in making the overall argument more coherent and easier to follow.
task achievement
Be cautious with general statements and ensure that your argument is supported by specific examples and evidence. Providing clear examples not only strengthens your position but also makes your essay more convincing.
task achievement
You have effectively identified and discussed both views presented in the prompt, showing an understanding of the complexity of the issue.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and lay out your opinion clearly, which is a strong foundation for your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.