IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that children should only read academic books. Others believe that reading books for pleasure is equally important. Which opinion do you agree with?

#people #children #books #pleasure
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The debate over whether
children
 should exclusively read academic
books
 or include
books
 for
pleasure
 in their reading repertoire is significant.
While
 some argue that academic
books
 are essential for
children
's intellectual development, others believe that
books
 for
pleasure
 are equally important. I strongly agree with the latter perspective.
Firstly
, reading for
pleasure
 fosters a love for reading and learning. When
children
 read
books
 that interest them, they are more likely to develop a positive attitude towards reading, which can translate into a lifelong habit.
This
 intrinsic motivation is crucial because it encourages voluntary reading, which in turn enhances vocabulary, comprehension skills, and general knowledge.
Pleasure
 reading
also
 stimulates imagination and creativity, attributes that are not only valuable in personal development but
also
 in academic success.
For example
, fictional stories often introduce complex characters and scenarios that challenge young readers to think critically and empathize with different perspectives.
Moreover
, balancing academic and leisure reading can prevent burnout. The pressures of constantly engaging with academic material can be overwhelming for
children
. Introducing a variety of genres, including fiction, poetry, and even graphic novels, can provide a necessary mental break, making the learning process more enjoyable and less monotonous.
This
 variety can improve cognitive flexibility and emotional intelligence, as
children
 learn to navigate different themes, narratives, and emotional landscapes.
On the other hand
, the importance of academic
books
 cannot be understated. They provide structured knowledge and foundational skills necessary for academic and professional success.
However
, a strict focus on academic texts alone may limit a child's exposure to diverse ideas and discourage a holistic approach to education. Education should aim to develop well-rounded individuals, and
this
 is best achieved through a balanced reading program that includes both academic and leisure
books
. In conclusion,
while
 academic
books
 are essential for structured learning,
books
 for
pleasure
 play a vital role in fostering a love for reading, stimulating creativity, and ensuring a balanced approach to education.
Therefore
, I believe that
children
 should be encouraged to read both academic
books
 and those for
pleasure
 to promote comprehensive development.
Submitted by Teo Halimov on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the thesis statement. This will enhance the clarity and focus of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is generally well-organized, consider using more transitional phrases to ensure an even smoother flow between paragraphs and ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and a compelling conclusion that reinforces your viewpoint, making your argument very persuasive.
task achievement
The main points are clearly supported with detailed explanations and examples, which strengthens your overall argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: