IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some universities offer online courses to students. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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In recent years, a significant number of universities have been holding online training courses for students. As for the century of technology, I strongly believe that
this
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 offer is beneficial for both pupils and the organization. I will explore my reasons and support them with
further
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 explanations
To begin
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 with,as far as the learning environment is concerned, under certain circumstances, learners are not able to participate in the classes in person.
For example
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, in the COVID-19 pandemic, the quarantine situation led to social distancing.
Therefore
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, education authorities came up with the idea of teaching from home.
This
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 urgent decision resulted in the development of several communication platforms, which were used for a large audience. Fortunately, for the
last
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 two years, these applications become one of the main features of the education system. For the second reason, for many students who prefer to choose a specific major at a certain university, tele-learning would be an appropriate option, if they were located in another city or country. Not only does the learner benefit from the well-qualified professors, but the colleges could
also
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 promote their capacity for national or international volunteers
Additionally
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, teaching through the internet is an advantageous item for those who are employed and would like to continue their studies.
Thus
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, they can take part in sessions at unofficial times.
To sum up
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, online education has been common around the globe. As far as it is an effective way of transferring knowledge, I recommend that other organizations facilitate e-learning for their educators.

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your points. For instance, mentioning specific communication platforms used during the COVID-19 pandemic would add more depth to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your arguments are generally well-organized, but including transitional phrases between paragraphs could enhance the flow of the essay. For example, phrases like 'Moreover' or 'Furthermore' can be used to introduce new points.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and punctuation. For example, 'To begin with,as far as the learning environment is concerned' should have a space after the comma: 'To begin with, as far as the learning environment is concerned.'
task achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines the topic and your position, which sets a strong foundation for the essay.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your points and reaffirms your stance on the issue.
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