IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graph below shows four countries of residence of overseas students in Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graph below shows four countries of residence of overseas students in Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#minutes #four #countries #residence #students #australia #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The graph presented portrays four countries of residence of overseas
students
Use synonyms
 in Australia.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that among the four countries,
students
Use synonyms
 choose Indonesia more often. In 1982 the only country in which
students
Use synonyms
 attended university was
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 at around 8000 of all the
students
Use synonyms
 overseas at that time.
This
Linking Words
 count stayed more or less constant until 1990 when it suddenly increased to 20000
students
Use synonyms
 in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
8 year
Add a hyphen
8-year
show examples
 period until 1998. In 1984 some Australian residents started education in Indonesia. The student count in
this
Linking Words
 country kept growing, overtook Hong Kong,
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 and Singapore in 1994 and ultimately reached the climax of around 26000
students
Use synonyms
 in 1998. During the following 2 years until
2000
Add a comma
2000,
show examples
this
Linking Words
number
Use synonyms
 dropped slightly to around 24000. Another similar tendency can be seen in Hong Kong, where the
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 exploded in a period of one year from none to 5 thousand
students
Use synonyms
 in 1987. Just like in
Indonesia
Add a comma
Indonesia,
show examples
this
Linking Words
number
Use synonyms
 kept rising in the following years peaking at 20000 undergraduates in 1997.
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 started receiving
students
Use synonyms
 from Australia in 1988(later than any of the four countries). The
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 in
Malaysia
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, did not experience any decline and
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 growing ever since. Reaching just below 20000 undergraduates in 2000.
Submitted by oimigle on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words students, malaysia, number with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • overseas students
  • country of residence
  • main features
  • comparison
  • patterns
  • trends
  • economic factors
  • education quality
  • cultural ties
  • shift
  • anomalies
  • data
  • highest number
  • lowest number
What to do next:
Look at other essays: