In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population create problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extant do the advantage of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In several parts of the world, senior citizens are living beyond the average age limit, prompting a debate on whether they are a burden to the government or a blessing to society. I believe that having the opportunity to spend time with our grandparents is indeed a boon for our growth and well-being.
This
essay will analyze both the merits and demerits of an
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
population and provide reasoning for my opinion.
To begin
with, advancements in medical technology have significantly prolonged the human lifespan.
Additionally
, the increased availability of healthcare facilities, even in rural areas, has contributed to better health and longevity. Another reason for the extended
life
span of the older generation is their consumption of healthier, chemical-free foods in the past, which has helped prevent diseases.
However
,
this
longevity
also
presents challenges for the government. More resources are required to provide assistance to the elderly, which could
otherwise
be allocated to other areas.
For instance
, in Japan, teenagers are mandated to spend at least an hour in old age homes to assist elderly people.
While
this
is a noble effort, some argue that teenagers could use
this
time to complete their homework or participate in extracurricular activities that add value to their resumes.
Additionally
, governments often provide financial assistance to retirees who do not have sufficient income, leading some to argue that these funds could be better spent on improving infrastructure and schools.
On the other hand
, I believe that we can gain immense knowledge from the
life
experiences of senior citizens. They are living repositories of history, culture, and customs, which are crucial for maintaining our heritage.
For example
, many traditional recipes are at risk of being forgotten. By spending time with my grandmother, I have been able to document these rare recipes and have even published a book to share these wonderful cooking techniques with others.
Moreover
, senior citizens can offer sensible advice based on their extensive
life
experiences, providing solutions and guidance during difficult times. In conclusion, I believe that people beyond 60 years of age play a major role in our society by keeping our traditions alive and offering valuable insights into
life
's challenges. The advantages of their presence outweigh the disadvantages, as they enrich our lives with their wisdom and help us maintain our cultural heritage.
Submitted by u.umayal92 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your introductory paragraph is strong and effectively sets the stage for the discussion. To improve, ensure that each main point in subsequent paragraphs clearly ties back to your thesis statement, reinforcing your overall argument.
coherence cohesion
Some areas of your essay could benefit from smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. For example, phrases like 'Furthermore' or 'Moreover' can help improve the flow of your arguments.
task achievement
While your use of specific examples is commendable, aim to balance these with more general points to avoid over-reliance on personal anecdotes.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. This makes it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, such as the mention of Japan's youth policies and your personal experience with traditional recipes, effectively supports your arguments.
task achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points discussed and reinforces your main argument, providing a satisfying closure to the essay.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: