In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population create problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extant do the advantage of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?.

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In several parts of the world, senior citizens are living beyond the average age limit, prompting a debate on whether they are a burden to the government or a blessing to society. I believe that having the opportunity to spend time with our grandparents is indeed a boon for our growth and well-being.

This

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essay will analyze both the merits and demerits of an

aging

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ageing

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population and provide reasoning for my opinion.

To begin

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with, advancements in medical technology have significantly prolonged the human lifespan.

Additionally

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, the increased availability of healthcare facilities, even in rural areas, has contributed to better health and longevity. Another reason for the extended

life

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span of the older generation is their consumption of healthier, chemical-free foods in the past, which has helped prevent diseases.

However

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this

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longevity

also

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presents challenges for the government. More resources are required to provide assistance to the elderly, which could

otherwise

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be allocated to other areas.

For instance

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, in Japan, teenagers are mandated to spend at least an hour in old age homes to assist elderly people.

While

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this

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is a noble effort, some argue that teenagers could use

this

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time to complete their homework or participate in extracurricular activities that add value to their resumes.

Additionally

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, governments often provide financial assistance to retirees who do not have sufficient income, leading some to argue that these funds could be better spent on improving infrastructure and schools.

On the other hand

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, I believe that we can gain immense knowledge from the

life

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experiences of senior citizens. They are living repositories of history, culture, and customs, which are crucial for maintaining our heritage.

For example

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, many traditional recipes are at risk of being forgotten. By spending time with my grandmother, I have been able to document these rare recipes and have even published a book to share these wonderful cooking techniques with others.

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, senior citizens can offer sensible advice based on their extensive

life

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experiences, providing solutions and guidance during difficult times. In conclusion, I believe that people beyond 60 years of age play a major role in our society by keeping our traditions alive and offering valuable insights into

life

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's challenges. The advantages of their presence outweigh the disadvantages, as they enrich our lives with their wisdom and help us maintain our cultural heritage.

u.umayal92Thu May 23 2024

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task achievement

Your introductory paragraph is strong and effectively sets the stage for the discussion. To improve, ensure that each main point in subsequent paragraphs clearly ties back to your thesis statement, reinforcing your overall argument.

coherence cohesion

Some areas of your essay could benefit from smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. For example, phrases like 'Furthermore' or 'Moreover' can help improve the flow of your arguments.

task achievement

While your use of specific examples is commendable, aim to balance these with more general points to avoid over-reliance on personal anecdotes.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. This makes it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.

task achievement

The use of specific examples, such as the mention of Japan's youth policies and your personal experience with traditional recipes, effectively supports your arguments.

task achievement

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points discussed and reinforces your main argument, providing a satisfying closure to the essay.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

384 words

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In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population create problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extant do the advantage of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Some people believe that children should be given lessons on how to manage money in the school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The popularity of tourism is increasing day by day. There are many benefits of tourism, but it also creates some problems. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals others say that there are more important environmental problems. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays people waste a lot of food that was brought from shops and restaurants. Why do you think people waste food? What can be done to reduce the amount of food they throw away?