Some people believe that exercise is the key to good health while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
In the modern era, appearance and
health
is
often considered a main factor of a good life. Change the verb form
are
Therefore
, there are many views revolving the
way to achieve good Change preposition
around the
health
. A number of individuals reckon on the idea that excercising
is more Correct your spelling
exercising
cricial
Correct your spelling
crucial
critical
while
the
others truly believe that a balanced eating habit is far more vital. In Correct article usage
apply
this
essay, I will discuss both of these views and explain my inclination toward the
latter.
On the one hand, there are many reasons why some people hold the view that exercise is the main tool for a healthy lifestyle. First of all, consistency exercises help to build a healthy body overall
, specifically endurance and mental health
. Scientific evidence has suggested that humans should exercise at least 30 minutes a day to develop their immune systems. Hence
, it is important to exercise on a daily basis. Without exercising
, Change the form of the verb
exercise
the
muscle strength will be weakened Correct article usage
apply
overtime
, which will lead to Correct your spelling
over time
further
health
conditions.
On the other hand
, I strongly believe that having a healthy diet plays a crucial role in health
. To be specific, consuming a vast amount of junk food will lead to various health
issues, such
as diabetes, health
problems, overweight. Creating a balanced diet gives the body the nutrition it needs. With the support of the right foods consumed, the individual will have enough energy to go through their days efficiently.
In conclusion, though exercising and a healthy diet are complimentary
to each other and play an equal role in maintaining Correct your spelling
complementary
health
physically and mentally, I still lean toward mindful eating habit
.Fix the agreement mistake
habits
Submitted by midden-02.tore on
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Task Achievement
The essay should completely address all parts of the task. The discussion of the significance of exercise and diet could be more balanced. Providing more concrete examples or evidence would strengthen the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Making sure the essay has a clear and logical structure throughout will help in achieving a higher score.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on providing more well-developed and supported main points to ensure stronger coherence. Each argument should be clearly explained and supported with specific examples or evidence.
Overall Writing
Pay attention to syntactical and grammatical accuracy, while they did not significantly impact your score, minor inaccuracies such as 'excercising' instead of 'exercising' could be improved.
Overall Writing
The introduction and conclusion are both effective. The introduction sets the context well, and the conclusion nicely summarizes the main points while stating your preference.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear organization, with distinct paragraphs discussing each viewpoint before presenting your own opinion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.