Some people believe that exercise is the key to good health while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the modern era, appearance and
health
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is
Change the verb form
are

It appears that the singular verb is does not agree with the plural compound subject appearance and health. Consider changing the verb to the plural form.

show examples
often considered a main factor of a good life.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there are many views revolving
the
Change preposition
around the

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
way to achieve good
health
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. A number of individuals reckon on the idea that
excercising
Correct your spelling
exercising

If you don’t want excercising to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

is more
cricial
Correct your spelling
crucial
critical

If you don’t want cricial to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
others truly believe that a balanced eating habit is far more vital. In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay, I will discuss both of these views and explain my inclination toward the latter. On the one hand, there are many reasons why some people hold the view that exercise is the main tool for a healthy lifestyle. First of all, consistency exercises help to build a healthy body
overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, specifically endurance and mental
health
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Scientific evidence has suggested that humans should exercise at least 30 minutes a day to develop their immune systems.
Hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is important to exercise on a daily basis. Without
exercising
Change the form of the verb
exercise

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb exercising. Consider changing it.

show examples
,
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
muscle strength will be weakened
overtime
Correct your spelling
over time

The word overtime doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
, which will lead to
further
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

health
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

conditions.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I strongly believe that having a healthy diet plays a crucial role in
health
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. To be specific, consuming a vast amount of junk food will lead to various
health
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

issues,
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as diabetes,
health
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

problems, overweight. Creating a balanced diet gives the body the nutrition it needs. With the support of the right foods consumed, the individual will have enough energy to go through their days efficiently. In conclusion, though exercising and a healthy diet are
complimentary
Correct your spelling
complementary

The word complimentary doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
to each other and play an equal role in maintaining
health
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

physically and mentally, I still lean toward mindful eating
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits

It seems that habit may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
The essay should completely address all parts of the task. The discussion of the significance of exercise and diet could be more balanced. Providing more concrete examples or evidence would strengthen the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Making sure the essay has a clear and logical structure throughout will help in achieving a higher score.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on providing more well-developed and supported main points to ensure stronger coherence. Each argument should be clearly explained and supported with specific examples or evidence.
Overall Writing
Pay attention to syntactical and grammatical accuracy, while they did not significantly impact your score, minor inaccuracies such as 'excercising' instead of 'exercising' could be improved.
Overall Writing
The introduction and conclusion are both effective. The introduction sets the context well, and the conclusion nicely summarizes the main points while stating your preference.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear organization, with distinct paragraphs discussing each viewpoint before presenting your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cardiovascular health
  • Metabolism
  • Chronic diseases
  • Immune system
  • Mental well-being
  • Nutrients
  • Malnutrition
  • Obesity
  • Type 2 diabetes
  • Circulation
  • Nutrient distribution
  • Preventive health
  • Energy levels
  • Balanced diet
  • Essential nutrients
What to do next:
Look at other essays: