IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Most of the
museums
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charge
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 entrance fees
although
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 some
museums
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 do not
charge
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 any fee regarding the entrance. I believe the advantages of pricing for entrance to the
museums
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 outweigh the disadvantages of not allowing payment because maintenance costs are very high in the
places
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 that display ancient
items
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. Issuing
tickets
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 allows the
museums
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 to maintain their historical value and structure.
Thus
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, Most of the ancient
items
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 that belong to 900 -1000 BC are facing a threat
hence
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 it needs financial aid to protect these
items
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 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future generations.
For Instance
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, the Museum located in Anuradhapura has goods that were used by kings in the Anuradhapura era for their bathing
although
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 many of these goods are to have vanished since the low maintenance. Maintaining those
items
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 is very expensive.
Nevertheless
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, when offering to see
places
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 like
museums
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 for free, there is a probability of destroying
items
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 by people who can’t understand the value of those things.
On the other hand
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, When
museums
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 issue
tickets
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 at a certain price, most students who are keen to study the history,
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
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, and technology of ancient humans are unable to enter the
museums
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 since they
charge
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thus
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 students can not afford the prices of
such
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places
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.
For example
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,
Museums
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 in Colombo and Anuradhapura
charge
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tickets
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 at a very high price for all
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people regardless of their status especially their educational background.
However
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, I believe that
tickets
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 should be issued for everyone within a reasonable price range. In conclusion, I believe that
places
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 that exhibit ancient things should be charged some amount of money from the people who come to see those goods
otherwise
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 authorities can’t maintain those
places
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.
finally
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, I think issuing a ticket has more advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

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structure
The essay could benefit from clearer topic sentences in each paragraph to guide the reader through the main points more effectively. Additionally, consider varying sentence structures and using a wider range of vocabulary to improve fluidity.
clarity
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear purpose and sticks to that purpose to avoid any potential confusion. For instance, the second paragraph could be solely focused on the advantages of charging for museum entry, rather than introducing counterpoints too early.
support
In the future, it might help to provide more specific examples or data to support the claims made. This will strengthen the argument and make it more convincing.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a strong framework for the discussion.
content
The main points are relevant to the topic and address both advantages and disadvantages of charging for museum entry, which demonstrates a balanced perspective.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
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