IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people traveling Inside these venicies will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

#future #cars #buses #trucks #driverless #people #venicies #passengers #vehicles
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Currently,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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driverless
cars
 are entering our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. many companies have created and are creating
such
 vehicles.
for instance
, popular companies
such
 as BMW and Tesla have already started production of
driverless
cars
.
However
, there are both pros and cons of
driverless
cars
. In
this
 essay, I will discuss more beneficial aspects than drawbacks of
this
 trend. First of all,
driverless
cars
 have more positive aspects than negatives. One of the positive aspects is that we don't spend time driving the car and
instead
 of driving we can read or sleep.
As a result
, we spend our time on useful things.
Furthermore
,
driverless
cars
 make fewer mistakes than
a human beings
Correct the article-noun agreement
human beings
a human being
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. The
driverless
cars
 prevent hundreds, If not thousands, of accidents.
On the other hand
,
driverless
cars
 have enough drawbacks , one of them is a system of
driverless
cars
 that can be broken.
As a result
, bad things can happen
for example
 incidents or threads or violence by unknown groups.
Moreover
, If there is a problem with electricity, there is
also
 a problem with
driverless
cars
. In conclusion, as mentioned above the advantages of
this
 trend outweigh the disadvantages. Automated
cars
 create many conveniences for the population and make life easier.
Besides
 much safer compared to human-driven
cars
.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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relevant specific examples
You should aim to enhance your use of relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Including more detailed examples will make your essay more convincing. For instance, when you mention fewer accidents due to driverless cars, you could include specific statistics or studies.
clear comprehensive ideas
Try to create more varied and complex sentences. This will help to keep the reader engaged and show your language proficiency. For example, you could combine some of your shorter sentences to form more complex ones, or incorporate different sentence structures.
clear comprehensive ideas
Pay attention to grammar and vocabulary choices. Small mistakes, such as incorrect use of articles or tense inconsistencies, can distract from the overall quality of your essay. Proofreading your work before submission can help catch these errors.
logical structure
Your essay is well-organized with a clear structure. The introduction sets the context effectively, and the conclusion nicely summarizes your points.
complete response
You present both advantages and disadvantages of driverless vehicles, which helps to demonstrate a balanced understanding of the topic. This shows that you considered both sides of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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