It is impossible to help all people around the world in need so governments should focus on people from their own country. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Write 250 words.)
In the present day, we will be global citizens and everyone will relocate and connect
though
social media, free trade without tax, and government cooperation. Correct your spelling
through
This
topic asks the government to focus on their population. In my opinion, I absolutely agree with this
comment and describe the reasons for supporting this
idea.
The official administration should be concerned about the residents’ security because there are worldwide scammers
who try to escape the law and fraud innocent people
. For example
, I met the scammers
who called me by phone and invited me to attend their business but I rejected them because I knew they were the scammers
. Later, they spoke impolitely to me and hung up the phone. Moreover
, I met the clipboard scammers
who might be refugees from another country when I traveled
to Paris, France on Christmas week Change the spelling
travelled
in
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
last
year. They asked for a donation for the Louve museum but my sister and I told Louve’s staff. He informed us that the Louve didn’t have the donation and took us to the entrance. Therefore
, I learned from my experience that the administration should protect their citizen’s security by using their law.
In addition
, the high inflation rate is a major economic issue around the world which the household charges increase. For instance
, the apartment rental which is located outside my university was below 5000 Baht but the price ups to 10000 Baht in the present day. As a result
, people
handle the high utility payments but their income is still the same rate. If they handle it for a long time, they will get the mental health problem. So, the official organization should be aware of these problems by reducing taxes, house costs, and increasing income rates.
In conclusion, I totally agree that governments should focus on their people
because security and economic crises are the most important issues that become the main problems in many countries. If they are aware of this
problem, people
will have a better quality of life.Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the coherence between paragraphs by using clearer transitions and signals. This will help the ideas flow more smoothly from one to the next.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clarify the introduction by presenting the background information succinctly and stating your position more clearly. This will make your viewpoint easier to understand from the start.
Task Achievement
Try to develop each main point in more depth with additional supporting details. For instance, expand on how government policies directly affect the citizens' quality of life.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph is structured effectively with a clear topic sentence followed by supporting sentences and examples. This will make your arguments more compelling.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay presents a strong introduction and conclusion, reinforcing the writer's viewpoint effectively.
Task Achievement
Good use of personal examples to support points, which adds authenticity and clarity to the argument.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses both the security and economic concerns effectively, covering multiple aspects of the issue as asked in the task.
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