IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some countries pay extremely high salaries for people. Some people believe that the country must not do that and make a limit for the salaries. Do you agree or disagree.

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Some individuals assert that hires are not required to be paid excessively and there should be a limitation on it;
however
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, I hold the conviction that considering limitations for the salaries is not rational, as individuals'
income
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level
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 is
according to
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 their
level
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 of skills and efforts. On the one hand, a group of people claim that paying excessive salaries in some
countries
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 would raise expectations in other
countries
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 which can result in negative outcomes. Indeed, employees may compare themselves with their peers in terms of skill, eligibility, and effort, realizing that their counterparts are getting paid a much higher salary.
Consequently
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, they would express dissatisfaction or they would rather immigrate to the
countries
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 in which they can have a higher
income
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.
This
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 incident may bring about irreparable consequences to many developing
countries
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 as their labour force might be reluctant to stay and work in their homeland. In Pakistan,
for instance
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, the government has encountered countless issues regarding the workforce as a lot of its youngsters, in the age of employment, prefer to move to some developed
countries
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 in order to reach a higher
level
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 of
income
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, lifestyle, and welfare.
However
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, I am inclined to believe that paying an extremely high salary to those who are more skilled and eligible is a must. An individual who dedicated numerous years to studying, working, and gaining experience in his profession is absolutely entitled to a higher
income
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.
Moreover
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, many experienced employees have spent several years upgrading, improving, cherishing, and prospering the organizations in which they have been active, and
as a result
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, getting an extra salary is their least expectation.
Above all
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,
according to
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 a widely held belief, getting a promotion or a rise in wages are considered to be motives for the
staffs
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staff
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 to be responsible and conscientious. In South Korea,
for instance
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, which has been successful in training a considerable number of highly skilled experts in different fields, many companies determine a hierarchical promotion system based on staff performance,
level
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 of experience, and achievements. In conclusion, after considering both viewpoints,
although
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 many people assert that paying extremely high salaries in some
countries
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 might lead to harmful aftermaths, I assume that people's abilities and qualifications determine the amount of their wages and there should not be any limitations on it.

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task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the task and presents clear and comprehensive ideas. However, you can improve further by adding more specific examples and developing each point in more detail.
coherence cohesion
The essay follows a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To enhance coherence, consider using more cohesive devices and transition signals to guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
While your main points are generally well-supported, you can strengthen your argument by offering additional examples or expanding on the examples provided. This will make your essay more convincing and engaging.
task achievement
You did a great job providing relevant examples, such as the situation in Pakistan and the promotion system in South Korea, which illustrate and support your arguments effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, creating a balanced and well-organized piece of writing.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic inequality
  • civil unrest
  • motivation
  • productivity
  • brain drain
  • standard of living
  • societal well-being
  • tax revenues
  • public services
  • infrastructure
  • economic growth
  • consumer spending
  • meritocratic society
  • barrier to entry
  • diversity
  • innovation
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