Doctors, nurses and teacher make a great contribution to society and should be payed more than entertainment and sport celebrities. Do you agree or disagree?
**IELTS Writing Task 2:**
In contemporary
society
, there is a burgeoning debate regarding the appropriate remuneration for professionals
in different fields. While
some argue that doctors
, nurses
, and teachers
, due to
their indispensable societal contributions
, deserve higher pay than entertainment
and sports
celebrities
, others hold a divergent perspective. In this
essay, I will discuss both viewpoints and provide my own analysis.
On the one hand, proponents of the notion that healthcare and education
professionals
merit higher salaries often underscore the critical roles they play in the betterment of society
. Doctors
and nurses
are entrusted with the monumental task of safeguarding public health, often working long hours under challenging conditions to save lives and alleviate suffering. Similarly
, teachers
shape the future by imparting knowledge and fostering the intellectual and moral development of young minds. Given the gravity of their responsibilities and the profound impact of their work, it seems logical to prioritize their financial compensation.
Conversely
, those who contend that entertainment
and sports
celebrities
should command higher salaries argue from the standpoint of market demand and societal preferences. Celebrities
in these fields often amass immense wealth due to
their popularity and the substantial revenues generated by entertainment
and Correct article usage
the entertainment
sports
industries. Ticket sales, advertising deals, and merchandise sales contribute to their astronomical earnings, reflecting the significant demand for their talents and the widespread societal interest in entertainment
and sports
. From this
perspective, their salaries are justified by market forces and consumer preferences.
However
, it is essential to consider the broader implications of remuneration disparities. While
entertainment
and sports
celebrities
undoubtedly entertain and inspire millions, the contributions
of doctors
, nurses
, and teachers
are foundational to the functioning and progress of society
. Without accessible healthcare and quality education
, societal well-being and advancement would be severely compromised. Therefore
, it is arguable that professionals
who directly contribute to the health, education
, and welfare of society
should be rewarded commensurately with
their indispensable roles.
In conclusion, the debate over whether Change preposition
for
doctors
, nurses
, and teachers
should be paid more than entertainment
and sports
celebrities
encapsulates complex considerations of societal value, market dynamics, and individual contributions
. While
entertainment
and sports
figures play important roles in society
, the foundational contributions
of healthcare and education
professionals
cannot be overstated. Ultimately, a fair and equitable compensation system should recognize and reward the diverse contributions
that different professions make to the betterment of society
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task achievement
To strengthen your essay further, consider incorporating more specific examples and data, which could substantiate your arguments more effectively and enhance your Task Achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Make sure that your paragraphs are well-balanced. While your coherence and cohesion are strong, ensuring that all points are equally developed can improve your score in this criterion.
coherence cohesion
Your logical structure is very good, and your essay reads cohesively from start to finish. You have clear introductions, well-developed body paragraphs, and a fitting conclusion.
task achievement
The response thoroughly addresses the essay prompt and offers an insightful analysis of both viewpoints along with your conclusion.
task achievement
Your ideas are comprehensive and clearly articulated, making your arguments easy to follow and compelling.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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