Doctors, nurses and teacher make a great contribution to society and should be payed more than entertainment and sport celebrities. Do you agree or disagree?

**IELTS Writing Task 2:** In contemporary
society
, there is a burgeoning debate regarding the appropriate remuneration for
professionals
in different fields.
While
some argue that
doctors
,
nurses
, and
teachers
,
due to
their indispensable societal
contributions
, deserve higher pay than
entertainment
and
sports
celebrities
, others hold a divergent perspective. In
this
essay, I will discuss both viewpoints and provide my own analysis. On the one hand, proponents of the notion that healthcare and
education
professionals
merit higher salaries often underscore the critical roles they play in the betterment of
society
.
Doctors
and
nurses
are entrusted with the monumental task of safeguarding public health, often working long hours under challenging conditions to save lives and alleviate suffering.
Similarly
,
teachers
shape the future by imparting knowledge and fostering the intellectual and moral development of young minds. Given the gravity of their responsibilities and the profound impact of their work, it seems logical to prioritize their financial compensation.
Conversely
, those who contend that
entertainment
and
sports
celebrities
should command higher salaries argue from the standpoint of market demand and societal preferences.
Celebrities
in these fields often amass immense wealth
due to
their popularity and the substantial revenues generated by
entertainment
Correct article usage
the entertainment
show examples
and
sports
industries. Ticket sales, advertising deals, and merchandise sales contribute to their astronomical earnings, reflecting the significant demand for their talents and the widespread societal interest in
entertainment
and
sports
. From
this
perspective, their salaries are justified by market forces and consumer preferences.
However
, it is essential to consider the broader implications of remuneration disparities.
While
entertainment
and
sports
celebrities
undoubtedly entertain and inspire millions, the
contributions
of
doctors
,
nurses
, and
teachers
are foundational to the functioning and progress of
society
. Without accessible healthcare and quality
education
, societal well-being and advancement would be severely compromised.
Therefore
, it is arguable that
professionals
who directly contribute to the health,
education
, and welfare of
society
should be rewarded commensurately
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
their indispensable roles. In conclusion, the debate over whether
doctors
,
nurses
, and
teachers
should be paid more than
entertainment
and
sports
celebrities
encapsulates complex considerations of societal value, market dynamics, and individual
contributions
.
While
entertainment
and
sports
figures play important roles in
society
, the foundational
contributions
of healthcare and
education
professionals
cannot be overstated. Ultimately, a fair and equitable compensation system should recognize and reward the diverse
contributions
that different professions make to the betterment of
society
.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To strengthen your essay further, consider incorporating more specific examples and data, which could substantiate your arguments more effectively and enhance your Task Achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Make sure that your paragraphs are well-balanced. While your coherence and cohesion are strong, ensuring that all points are equally developed can improve your score in this criterion.
coherence cohesion
Your logical structure is very good, and your essay reads cohesively from start to finish. You have clear introductions, well-developed body paragraphs, and a fitting conclusion.
task achievement
The response thoroughly addresses the essay prompt and offers an insightful analysis of both viewpoints along with your conclusion.
task achievement
Your ideas are comprehensive and clearly articulated, making your arguments easy to follow and compelling.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • critical role
  • healthcare professionals
  • societal well-being
  • disparity in income
  • skewed values
  • essential services
  • remuneration
  • mitigate
  • global shortages
  • inherent value
  • nurturing
  • compensation
  • societal contributions
  • profound impact
  • equitable distribution
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!