many chilren are encouraged by their parent to get a part time job. what are the advantages and disadvantages to children doing so?

Nowadays, parents are advocating the idea of occupying

children

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with part-

time

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jobs during their free

time

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. There are several benefits and drawbacks

for

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show examples

this

Linking Words

kind of encouragement,

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apply

show examples

which I will discuss below. It is widely known that young people are able to learn new

skills

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easily.

For example

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, learning English at a young age is much

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apply

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easier than learning later in life.

Same

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The same

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concept applies to learning important job

skills

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Therefore

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, there are many advantages to motivating

children

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to work at a young age. They will acquire a lot of new

skills

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such

Linking Words

cooperations

Fix the agreement mistake

cooperation

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with other co-workers in situations where they need to help each other.

Additionally

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, since

children

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will work several hours to earn money

at the end

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of each month, they will eventually have a solid understanding of money values.

On the other hand

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, there are several drawbacks

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show examples

this

Linking Words

kind of encouragement. Letting young people work during their spare

time

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will result in tiredness and

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

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of motivation to study afterwards.

Children

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free-

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free time

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time

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is better spent

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apply

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doing outdoor activities or

practicing

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practising

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hobbies.

Furthermore

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children

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's grades might be

effected

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affected

show examples

due to

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spending their free

time

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working rather than studying or renewing their energy.

For example

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, by working after school for 4 hours,

children

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will need to get some sleep afterwards, leaving them no

time

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and space to study and have fun after school ends. In conclusion, I think

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apply

show examples

occupying

children

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with 2 to 3 days of

part

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part-time

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time

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jobs will be the ideal solution to give them a chance to gain new

skills

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, and at the same

time

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, provide them sufficient

time

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to study and enjoy their free

time

Use synonyms

norahhamad98

May 23, 2024

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task achievement

Your essay provides a clear and complete response to the task prompt. However, to achieve a higher score, be careful with small grammatical errors and improve the variety of your sentence structures.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that all points are directly related to the topic sentence of each paragraph. Additionally, consider using more transition words to better link your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument effectively.

task achievement

You provide relevant and specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

7.5

Logical structure

8.5

Introduction & conclusion present

7.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

7.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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many chilren are encouraged by their parent to get a part time job. what are the advantages and disadvantages to children doing so?

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Some people believe that in the near future there will be no borders between countries, while others feel that national borders will always remain. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some commentators feel that grandparents should live together with their children and grandchildren. While others say that elderly people should been couraged to live independently. Consider the possible argument on both sides of this debate, and reach your own conclusion.

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our times is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people say that professional work like doctor and teacher great contribution to the society should be paid more than those people in the field of sports and entertainment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?