many chilren are encouraged by their parent to get a part time job. what are the advantages and disadvantages to children doing so?

#chilren #parent #part #time #job #children

Nowadays, parents are advocating the idea of occupying

children

with part-

time

jobs during their free

time

. There are several benefits and drawbacks

for

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show examples

this

kind of encouragement,

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apply

show examples

which I will discuss below. It is widely known that young people are able to learn new

skills

easily.

For example

, learning English at a young age is much

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apply

show examples

easier than learning later in life.

Same

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The same

show examples

concept applies to learning important job

skills

Therefore

, there are many advantages to motivating

children

to work at a young age. They will acquire a lot of new

skills

such

cooperations

Fix the agreement mistake

cooperation

show examples

with other co-workers in situations where they need to help each other.

Additionally

, since

children

will work several hours to earn money

at the end

of each month, they will eventually have a solid understanding of money values.

On the other hand

, there are several drawbacks

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show examples

this

kind of encouragement. Letting young people work during their spare

time

will result in tiredness and

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of motivation to study afterwards.

Children

free-

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free time

show examples

time

is better spent

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apply

show examples

doing outdoor activities or

practicing

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practising

show examples

hobbies.

Furthermore

children

's grades might be

effected

Correct your spelling

affected

show examples

due to

spending their free

time

working rather than studying or renewing their energy.

For example

, by working after school for 4 hours,

children

will need to get some sleep afterwards, leaving them no

time

and space to study and have fun after school ends. In conclusion, I think

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apply

show examples

occupying

children

with 2 to 3 days of

part

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

time

jobs will be the ideal solution to give them a chance to gain new

skills

, and at the same

time

, provide them sufficient

time

to study and enjoy their free

time

Submitted by norahhamad98 on Thu May 23 2024

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task achievement

Your essay provides a clear and complete response to the task prompt. However, to achieve a higher score, be careful with small grammatical errors and improve the variety of your sentence structures.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that all points are directly related to the topic sentence of each paragraph. Additionally, consider using more transition words to better link your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument effectively.

task achievement

You provide relevant and specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

7.5

Logical structure

8.5

Introduction & conclusion present

7.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

7.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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many chilren are encouraged by their parent to get a part time job. what are the advantages and disadvantages to children doing so?

Many FPTU students use their phones and laptops to play games during the English lessons. What problems does this cause? What can be done to solve this problem?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for companies and organizations.

In many countries today children begin learning a foreign language before entering primary school. What are the reasons for this? At what age should children begin to learn a foreign language?

An increasing number of people are choosing plastic surgery. Why do people choose to change the way they look? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Fewer and fewer people today right by hand using a pen pencil or brush. What are the reasons? Is this a positive or a negative development?