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Writing Samples
Band 7

In today's society, the media plays a significant role in shaping public opinion and influencing people's behavior. However, it also has its drawbacks. What problems can arise from the media's influence, and how can these issues be addressed?

#society #media #role #people #behavior #influence
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In
this
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 modern world,
media
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 has an essential part in formulating public views about various life matters.
This
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 is a two-edged sword, in my opinion, since some social
media
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influencers
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' actions might have a negative impact on society.
This
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 essay will elaborate on the problems resulting from that and suggest ways how to go about it effectively. The first major issue is that the content which is being posted by social
media
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influencers
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 is not restricted.
Moreover
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, many of them would practice unhealthy habits and share misleading information with the world in order to be controversial, go viral and reach higher views.
For instance
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, one famous blogger was marketing a body plastic surgery that made teenage girls following her on Instagram neglect healthy lifestyles and put body image before education and hard work.
Also
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, exposure to
the
Correct article usage
an
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 unlimited number of
people
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 is a huge downside.
Hence
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, these
influencers
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 have millions of viewers from different ages around the globe which makes it easy to spread their opinions among others in the fastest way possible. Solving
this
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 issue needs serious measures to be taken by both, parents and the government. One solution is to run campaigns that raise the awareness of society members about the unrealisticness of
people
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 on social
media
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 platforms. When everyone realises how fake these
people
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 are they will not follow them blindly. Encouraging teenagers to form an opinion based on research and correct information is a step forward in creating an educationally opinionated generation. Another effective procedure is to manage these platforms through strict laws to deter harmful content and block accounts that
are violating
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violate
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 these legal restrictions. In conclusion, the negative impact of social
media
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influencers
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 on societies is undeniable and it has changed our world for the worse. If
people
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 and governments worked together
this
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 overarching issue could be limited and improvements would be seen.
Submitted by shaikha.alsaif4 on

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, make sure to fully develop each point with more detailed examples and evidence. For instance, including specific statistics or studies can be highly effective in strengthening your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly flows into the next. Using more transition words and phrases can help make the essay feel more connected and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Be careful about small grammatical errors and consistency in word usage. For example, in the phrase 'how to go about it effectively,' consider rephrasing it to 'how these issues can be effectively addressed' to maintain formal tone and clarity.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction is effective and sets the tone for the essay. The thesis statement is clear and outlines what the essay will discuss.
complete response
The essay addresses the task prompt by discussing both problems and solutions, making it a well-rounded response.
relevant specific examples
Good use of examples, such as the Instagram influencer, adds depth to the discussion and illustrates the points being made.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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