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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

While in some countries children start school at the age of four, in other countries they start at the age of seven. Some people believe that starting school early affects the relationships between parents and children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of starting school early and give you own opinions.

in some
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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country
Add a comma
country,
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 go to
school
Use synonyms
 when they are 4 years old ,
whereas
Linking Words
 in other countries
children
Use synonyms
 go to
school
Use synonyms
 at 7 years old. some people claim that starting
school
Use synonyms
 can affect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their relationships with
children
Use synonyms
. first of all ,
it is clear that
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children
Use synonyms
 can learn
everyting
Correct your spelling
everything
 very soon because they are very intelligent than adults.
Hence
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 when they start
school
Use synonyms
 soon , they can use
from
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apply
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their talent as soon as
posiible
Correct your spelling
possible
.
furthermore
Linking Words
 ,
children
Use synonyms
 have many abilities that should
explore
Wrong verb form
be explored
show examples
 by
school
Use synonyms
 and their parents to improve. starting
earlu
Correct your spelling
early
 can be useful for their communication and cooperation
also
Linking Words
. they learn
team work
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teamwork
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 and they go to
society
Add an article
the society
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 for education .
thuse
Correct your spelling
thus
these
those
, they will go to university early and society can use
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their abilities
according to
Linking Words
 their field.
on the other
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hand
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hand,
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 they can find high_flying
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 when they are young and get
depend
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dependent
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. on the ground that they can gain money for
theirselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
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 without any help
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 their parents.
although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
there are many reasons that starting
school
Use synonyms
 is good , there are some disadvantages
for
Change preposition
to
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 that .
to
Capitalize word
To
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 illustrate , they
shoul
Correct your spelling
should
 wake up early
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
go
Change the form of the verb
going
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 to
school
Use synonyms
 and they must do
many
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
homeworks
Correct your spelling
homework
. it can be hard for them. since they may get tired.
however
Linking Words
, they are child and they like to play
instead
Linking Words
 of
leraning
Correct your spelling
learning
.if they
ger
Correct your spelling
get
show examples
 tired , they give up early. in my opinion , the age of seven is a better age for starting
school
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. I for one , believe that
children
Use synonyms
 should play and use
frome
Correct your spelling
from
 their skills in
chilhood
Correct your spelling
childhood
.to mention some ,
handicarft
Correct your spelling
handicraft
handicrafts
,painting,music, sport. because when they go to
school
Use synonyms
 , they
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
 not enough
tome
Correct your spelling
time
show examples
for doing
Change preposition
to do
show examples
 other activities.
in
Capitalize word
In
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 the meantime in
city
Correct article usage
the city
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 and
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
 , it is different . because ,
children
Use synonyms
 in
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
 can go to
school
Use synonyms
 very easily
due to
Linking Words
 good transportation
while
Linking Words
 , in
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
countryside
Add a comma
countryside,
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 can have their own transportation
very hard
Rephrase
apply
show examples
. in conclusion , starting
school
Use synonyms
 early has many advantages and disadvantages that it
depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
 on
situation
Add an article
the situation
show examples
 in
peoples
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 life.

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task achievement
The essay should have a more concise and compelling introduction that clearly states the purpose and scope of the discussion.
coherence cohesion
Avoid grammatical mistakes such as missing punctuation and incorrect tense usage. For example, 'everyting' should be 'everything' and 'learn very soon' should be 'learn very quickly'
coherence cohesion
Make sure to use appropriate connectors and transitional phrases to link ideas more effectively. For instance, replacing 'hence' with 'therefore' in certain contexts can improve readability.
task achievement
Include specific examples to support your claims. For example, you could mention studies or statistics that show how early schooling impacts children's development.
task achievement
The essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages of starting school early, providing a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion summarizes the points made throughout the essay and provides a final opinion, which helps to wrap up the discussion effectively.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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