The diagram below shows the recycling process of aluminium cans. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the recycling process of aluminium cans.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph presented depicts the recycling
process
of aluminium cans
Overall
, it can be seen that
this
process
involves 7 individual steps to reuse the
thrown away
Add a hyphen
thrown-away
show examples
can.
Firstly
, a used aluminium can is dumped in the garbage.
Then
, the long journey of a can recycling
process
begins. After the garbage collection teams pick up the
thrown away
Add a hyphen
thrown-away
show examples
can
Correct subject-verb agreement
cans
show examples
they are delivered to a processing facility. There, the can is thoroughly cleaned, sorted by various factors, shredded and
finally
compressed
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
smaller pieces.
This
is done to reduce the volume of a can. These small shreds are later heated and melted in industrial foundries. Now all
that is
left is clean metal that can be easily processed. In the
beginning
Add a comma
beginning,
show examples
machines roll the liquid metal into rolls of metal which are generally 2.5 - 6 millimeters thick. These rolls are the key to recycling
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because now they can be converted into whatever is necessary. In
this
case, metal is turned back
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
cans, which can be reused once again. It is worth noting that around 74% of the cans used in the UK are recycled
following
this
very
process
.
Submitted by oimigle on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words process with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: