IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it.

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In
this
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 essay, I will share my view about how
an
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apply
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advertising nowadays could influence the buyer. Some people think a
product
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’s commercial display could highly affect the number of its buyers.
However
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, others may say vice versa. People
are
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apply
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no longer care about it. I strictly agree that advertisements are repeated and I do not believe it anymore as the factor of purchasing something. There are so many ways to promote a brand or a
product
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,
such
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 as engaging
a
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in a
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big event, creating a gimmick, or collaborating with a public figure.
Although
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 all deliver the same messages, exaggerating the
product
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 and making it look very beneficial for us. In recent days, some people
are
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have been
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 smart enough to differentiate
a genuine advertisements
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genuine advertisements
a genuine advertisement
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or
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and
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 just
a
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apply
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public deception. One of the ways is checking the real impact of the
product
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 from other user’s reviews. Social media plays a big role here. We could see the example in
Instagram
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the Instagram
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 account @femaledaily, which consistently provides beauty
product
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 reviews, complimented with evidence and suggestions.
Hence
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, the followers are well-educated in terms of what are the ingredients contained in
the
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apply
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cosmetic
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cosmetics
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 and how
it
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they
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 may not be a preferable
product
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 for the buyer.
On the other hand
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, the others state a marketing gimmick had amazingly influenced them to pay for something.
Moreover
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, most of the gimmick involves their famous figure who has a very positive impression in the public’s eyes. It is not a good thing if the buyer
did
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does
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 not observe very well
of
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apply
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what they are buying.
For instance
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, a skincare brand has a collaboration with a male singer. His fans could possibly immediately purchase one of the
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product
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products
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 to show their support to their idol.
Whereas
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, there is a possibility the skincare could activate an allergic in the customer
,
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apply
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 because it is not suitable for all skin types. In conclusion, every advertisement has the same message, their
product
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 is the best and will give many
of
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apply
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benefits to you. As I believe we should not completely rely on the promotion, we should open our eyes to any honest
product
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 review and study the
product
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 itself, in case there
is
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are
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 some details we should know so we do not spend away our money.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly sets out the main points that will be discussed in the essay. This can help create a stronger logical structure.
coherence cohesion
Work on linking words and phrases more effectively to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Include a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to make your ideas clearer and more comprehensive.
task achievement
Use more specific examples and evidence to support the main points and make the argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, making it easy to follow.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic and presents both sides of the argument, demonstrating an understanding of the task.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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