Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
essay, I will share my view about how
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
advertising nowadays could influence the buyer. Some people think a
product
’s commercial display could highly affect the number of its buyers.
However
, others may say vice versa. People
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
no longer care about it. I strictly agree that advertisements are repeated and I do not believe it anymore as the factor of purchasing something. There are so many ways to promote a brand or a
product
,
such
as engaging
a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
big event, creating a gimmick, or collaborating with a public figure.
Although
all deliver the same messages, exaggerating the
product
and making it look very beneficial for us. In recent days, some people
are
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
smart enough to differentiate
a genuine advertisements
Correct the article-noun agreement
genuine advertisements
a genuine advertisement
show examples
or
Correct word choice
and
show examples
just
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public deception. One of the ways is checking the real impact of the
product
from other user’s reviews. Social media plays a big role here. We could see the example in
Instagram
Correct article usage
the Instagram
show examples
account @femaledaily, which consistently provides beauty
product
reviews, complimented with evidence and suggestions.
Hence
, the followers are well-educated in terms of what are the ingredients contained in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cosmetic
Fix the agreement mistake
cosmetics
show examples
and how
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
may not be a preferable
product
for the buyer.
On the other hand
, the others state a marketing gimmick had amazingly influenced them to pay for something.
Moreover
, most of the gimmick involves their famous figure who has a very positive impression in the public’s eyes. It is not a good thing if the buyer
did
Wrong verb form
does
show examples
not observe very well
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
what they are buying.
For instance
, a skincare brand has a collaboration with a male singer. His fans could possibly immediately purchase one of the
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
to show their support to their idol.
Whereas
, there is a possibility the skincare could activate an allergic in the customer
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because it is not suitable for all skin types. In conclusion, every advertisement has the same message, their
product
is the best and will give many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
benefits to you. As I believe we should not completely rely on the promotion, we should open our eyes to any honest
product
review and study the
product
itself, in case there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
some details we should know so we do not spend away our money.
Submitted by rifki.lufthansa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly sets out the main points that will be discussed in the essay. This can help create a stronger logical structure.
coherence cohesion
Work on linking words and phrases more effectively to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Include a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to make your ideas clearer and more comprehensive.
task achievement
Use more specific examples and evidence to support the main points and make the argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, making it easy to follow.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic and presents both sides of the argument, demonstrating an understanding of the task.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
What to do next:
Look at other essays: