Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Regarding the growth in technology, the number of kids who have access to these technological sources is increasing rapidly, as a large number of them tend to spend most of their daily hours on their virtual lives. From my perspective,
this
statement is the result of upgraded technological devices that the companies are providing for individuals.
Although
I find
this
point to be an extremely negative development for various reasons. With a comparison between the way of communication by the
last
generations and nowadays, virtual communication is becoming more and more popular every day, as people tend to show more interest in
this
way of talking to others and
this
made the path for these technology companies to provide and upgrade their devices.
As a result
, most children are showing more interest in using them than before. Nowadays, a significant number of kids own their own smartphones and mostly use them to communicate with their comrades, which causes them to waste a significantly higher amount of their time to be involved in their friends' community and not be left behind. Smartphones are now an inseparable part of adolescents' lives. These devices,
moreover
, consist of some interesting features
such
as the capability of watching movies, playing video games, and reading e-books which seem mesmerizing to many youngsters and grab their attention to spend hours on their phones. In my opinion,
this
description has various drawbacks.
Firstly
, it is extremely time-consuming as children may find themselves scrolling through social media for many hours without any reason, which will take their time that has to be spent outside the house playing with their classmates and doing homework.
On the contrary
, the blue light of these cell phones will eventually have a damaging effect on their brain and their ability to think properly,
as well as
their ability to solve problems and deal with difficulties.
This
remark,
furthermore
, may lead youngsters to become unsociable and depressed over date.
For instance
, if a child only speaks to his schoolmates through texting them, he would not be able to express his ideas clearly when it comes to face-to-face communication, which will make him depressed and anxious.
To sum up
, to me,
that is
a horrible decision to let the kids use their phones as much as they want to since
this
will bring a variety of unforgettable damages
while
they are growing up, as
this
is the time when their brains are forming and can have huge drawbacks to their future.
Submitted by lioness1970 on

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task response
Although your response addresses the prompts, there are some areas that could be clarified with more specific details and examples. Try to elaborate on the points you raise, possibly illustrating them with more clear and varied examples to enhance reader understanding.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the organization of ideas within paragraphs could be improved. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and ensure each sentence within the paragraph logically flows from one to the next.
task response
While your main points are relevant, make sure to fully develop them with specific, tangible examples. This will make your ideas more convincing and provide a clearer picture for the reader.
coherence cohesion
To improve the cohesion of your essay, consider using a greater variety of linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments. This will help to make your writing more fluid and easy to follow.
task response
Your introduction clearly outlines the topic and your stance on it, which sets a strong foundation for your essay.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your position clearly, providing a satisfactory closure to the essay.
task response
You have identified and discussed both reasons for children’s smartphone use and the negative implications, which shows a comprehensive response to the question.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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