IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the annual visitor spend for visitors to New Zealand from 5 countries for the years 1996 to 2014.

The graph below shows the annual visitor spend for visitors to New Zealand from 5 countries for the years 1996 to 2014.
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The
graph
Use synonyms
 represents the quantity of annual spending from visitors to New Zealand from 5 countries for the years 1996 to 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
 period of
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
 there
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been a lot of ups and downs, and changes in the annual visitor spend for visitors.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the country
that is
Linking Words
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
bottom of the
graph
Use synonyms
, China
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
changed
Correct pronoun usage
its positions
show examples
positions
Fix the agreement mistake
position
show examples
 in 2004, rising to 500
dollars
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 fell to nearly 200
dollars
Use synonyms
 in two thousand two.
However
Linking Words
, it did not take long
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 to gradually rise to almost
1 000
Correct your spelling
1,000
dollars
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 China settled down being the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
 in the
graph
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, Japan's most active year was 2002, when they reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
more than 1,000
dollars
Use synonyms
, overtaking the countries that
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 mentioned earlier.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, the country that experienced
sudden
Correct article usage
a sudden
show examples
 increase is
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, rising to 1,750 in 2010.
Lastly
Linking Words
, Australia was placed
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the top of the
graph
Use synonyms
 with 2,500 in 2006, outrunning all 4 countries that are on the
graph
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words graph, dollars with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • annual expenditure
  • tourism revenue
  • spending trends
  • economic impact
  • visitor spend
  • tourism sector
  • peak spending
  • fluctuations
  • incline/decline in spending
  • monetary contribution
  • tourist demographics
  • economic conditions
  • tourism campaigns
  • statistical analysis
  • data interpretation
  • fiscal year
  • extrapolate data
  • spending patterns
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