IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

People naturally resist making changes in their lives. What kind of problems can this cause? What solutions can you suggest?

#people #changes #lives
Our
life
 is our choice. The way how we live today is a result of our decisions yesterday. If you live the
life
 of your dream, it means you made
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 correct choice before. Everyone can change their lives
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 way in one day, even in a second. Everything you need is a strong wish. As we say in our country “
if
Capitalize word
If
show examples
 you wish strongly, you can fly to
cosmos
Correct article usage
the cosmos
show examples
”.
However
, these days people blame the government, parents,
life
, circumstances everything, but not themselves. Today, there are many gurus,
life
Correct word choice
and life
show examples
coaches
 who teach them how to change their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, their classes
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
 cheap in
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
all these
coaches
 say the same: take
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsibility, love yourself, set goals, etc. I think
it`s
 a waste of money because you can find
this
 information
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the Internet for free. I know many girls who attend classes of some
coaches
. The fun thing is that they confess that these
coaches
 say the same but they continue attending their classes because it helps them. I think
it`s
 good if it helps them.
However
, not always
this
 motivation lasts long.
It`s
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
another reason why people give up. One of the main reasons behind
that is
 a lack of discipline. One of the first steps you can take to impose discipline in your
life
 is to wake up early in the morning because let`s face it, when the alarm goes off you got your head on that soft pillow,
it`s
 all nice and
cozy
Change the spelling
cosy
show examples
 and warm in there. You do not feel like getting up. Do not press that snooze button,
otherwise
 you are killing your dreams.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are clearly stated and effectively frame your essay. This provides a solid structure and clarity for the reader.
supported main points
Support your main points with more detailed examples and explanations to make your arguments more convincing.
logical structure
Improve the logical flow of your ideas. Make sure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
complete response
You have made a complete response to the task by addressing potential problems and suggesting solutions.
clear comprehensive ideas
The ideas you presented are quite clear and focused, which makes it easy to follow your arguments.
relevant specific examples
You used relevant examples to support your points, which gives depth to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: