IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that chilren should go to school until they are older. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #school #age #chilren
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Whether going to school is a highly subjective discussion point.
However
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, from prior experience, it is more beneficial
to begin
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 intuitions at
an
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a
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 younger, despite those who believe that a mature age is suitable for your offspring. It must be understood that learning basic skills at kindergarten seminary for children from three to five years old is a strong foundation for them.
This
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 has led to the young generation having good
behaviors
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behaviours
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such
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 as saying "thanks" and "sorry" in some situations.
For example
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, there are different kinds of schools for
an
Correct article usage
apply
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early
life
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 like private or public systems to match with various demands of citizens.
As a result
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, offspring who early study may be familiar with time schedules more than others at the same maturity.
However
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, some people think that pupils should gain knowledge
at
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in
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 the primary department at the maturity of around seven.
This
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 is
due to
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, parents
want
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wanting
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 to create a
colorful
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colourful
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life
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 for their offspring and cooperate in their
growing
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growth
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.
In addition
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, on networking sites, there is a lot of news related to bullying in
institute
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institutes
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 or a child becoming an isolated person after a short time.
Therefore
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, going to
academy
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the academy
an academy
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 at an older age
maybe
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may be
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 safe for children nowadays as parents say. From
this
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 writer's experience,
this
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 is more advantageous for offspring to be similar to the educational system.
This
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 is because they should know how to talk with strange people and learn some basic skills in real
life
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.
Moreover
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, preparing for the future is necessary to be successful in studies and go around a new community that can create their personality.
Therefore
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, I suppose that children should be particular in
academy
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the academy
an academy
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 at a young
life
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. Clearly,
this
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 essay has shown that the main factors which impact education are future prospects and learning key skills.
Therefore
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, learning at an early age is more suitable than others.
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coherence cohesion
Make sure that each paragraph has a clear and distinct main idea to avoid repetition and ensure coherent development.
task achievement
Clarify some points and provide more specific examples to better illustrate your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Use more transition words to clearly guide the reader from one idea or paragraph to the next.
task achievement
You've addressed both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, giving your essay a good structure.
task achievement
You have made valid points about the benefits of starting school early and the concerns parents may have.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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