Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that children should not go to school until they are older. Dicuss both views and give your opinion.

Whether
children
should attend
school
early or when they get older.
This
writer believes that starting
school
early will help
children
have a stable knowledge when they grow up older and easier to change their bad habits,
however
, some people think going to
school
at an older
age
helps schools and
teachers
manage them easier. It is vital to understand that schools are open to educating
children
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
them with knowledge and good behaviour.
In other words
, getting
children
to go to
school
at a very early
age
helps them have a stable knowledge when they grow up and know how to behave in a good way before they have a bad habit or
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
bad
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. When
children
are still small, it is easier to change their habits and behaviours than when they are older because when they get older, the bad habits have followed them for
along
Correct your spelling
a long
show examples
period
so
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which will make it harder to teach them to have a good habit and attitudes.
As a result
,
children
who attended
school
early seem to behave better than those who attended
school
late.
However
, some people believe that
children
go to
school
at an older
age
so their families to have time raise them and help
teachers
manage them more easily. It is believed that
children
attend
Correct pronoun usage
who attend
show examples
school
late will know how to listen and learn quicker than younger
children
because when they get older they know how to think and understand information easily.
Consequently
,
teachers
can teach and manage them
easier
Rephrase
more easily
show examples
than those who are still small.
This
could be true but older
children
tend to do things they like and do not listen to their
teachers
or
parents
very often and if they have a bad attitude that their
parents
do not notice or
careabout
Correct your spelling
care about
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
when they come to
school
, it will be hard for
teachers
to fix it.
This
writer thinks that going to
school
at an early
age
will provide
children
a
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
better academic level when they get older and
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good behaviour with people around them.
This
is
due to
the fact that staying at home until they get older will make them lazier.
This
is why
parents
need to let their child go to
school
early or they will rely on their
parents
. In conclusion, going to
school
at an early
age
gives
children
a better characteristic and is well educated.
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task achievement
The essay needs more specific examples to support the points made. For instance, providing real-world or hypothetical situations where early schooling positively impacts children's habits and knowledge would be helpful.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow between paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, maintaining a coherent line of thought throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Several grammatical errors and awkward phrases are present. For example, 'followed them for along period' should be 'followed them for a long period.' Consider proofreading or using grammar-check tools.
coherence cohesion
A clear stance is presented at the beginning and the conclusion reiterates the opinion effectively, which is good for task achievement and coherence.
task achievement
The essay covers both views on the topic, offering a balanced discussion which strengthens the task response.
task achievement
Key points related to the importance of early schooling and its benefits for habits and behaviors are well articulated.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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