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Writing Samples
Band 0.5

Demand of food is increasing worldwide. What are the causes of this? What measures can the international community take tomakevsure the food supply is enough?

#demand #food #measures #community #tomakevsure
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Some years ago, products were in sufficient amounts and people eventually did not worry about a possible shortage. Nowadays food demand is gradually rising.
This
Linking Words
 situation which is
due to
Linking Words
 increasing population and climate change can be solved by stopping some harmful activities to the environment, and
reinforcement of
Replace the word
reinforcing
show examples
 growers' capacities. The population gradually increased all across the world reaching about five billion by 2023.
Accordingly
Linking Words
,
food's
Change noun form
food
show examples
 consumers
explosed
Correct your spelling
exposed
 and the pressure on amounts must follow the tendency of
this
Linking Words
 growth.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
climate change is one serious issue people must face to en
Submitted by ibamba88 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly addresses a specific aspect of the topic to enhance logical structure. For instance, dedicate one paragraph to discussing population increase and another to climate change.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points. This can help in making the argument more comprehensive and convincing.
task achievement
Work on expanding your ideas more clearly and comprehensively. This will help in fully addressing the question and achieving a higher score in both task achievement and coherence.
task achievement
You have identified two main causes of increasing food demand: population growth and climate change, which are relevant and appropriate.
coherence cohesion
You’ve attempted to structure your essay with an introduction and main points, which shows good understanding of essay structure.
coherence cohesion
Your language use is fairly effective, and you’ve made an effort to utilize a range of vocabulary.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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