It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
It is necessary for persons to take
risks
in their professional and personal lives. The risk-takers may fail initially
, however
, I believe that later on they achieve success. The essay will discuss both merits and demerits and argue it.
There are advantages for risk-takers in their lives. Some people take risks
while
working at the office. They change their stable job and join other companies for the sake of money and other benefits. In the first stage, they disturb their family life and move to other places. Subsequently
, settle down in a new place. There are chances that they may regret their decision, but, later on, realize the value of risk-taking in terms of financial stability and enhancing lifestyle. Same way, some risky decision in personal lives also
gives a secure, reliable and successful life. For example
, many parents take risks
and send their children abroad to study at a young age. Although
there are a number of issues known by
them, they think Change preposition
to
for
a better future for their wards.
Change preposition
of
On the other hand
, sometimes risk-taking can be a wrong decision. It may vanish life. It has been seen that some people take significant risks
in the stock market. They invest massive amounts by taking loans or selling properties. They assume that the Stock market can make them the richest in a short span of time. As a result
, they become bankrupt . As per research conducted by the University of Japan in the year 2023. a number of new investors who invested in the stock market during Corona by taking risks
became poor and lost everything.
In conclusion, to some extent taking risks
may meet our future goals and achieve success, nevertheless
, considering the risk factor, we should be ready for any challenges and adverse effects.Submitted by ahv on
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general
Ensure a clearer thesis statement in the introduction. You should briefly state whether you believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
task response
Provide a more balanced discussion. While you have touched upon both advantages and disadvantages, making sure that both sides are equally elaborated and supported with examples can strengthen your argument.
task response
Avoid generalizations. Statements like "many parents" and "some people" can be more precise if supported by data or specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on paragraph transitions. Ensure smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs to improve the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and provide a good structure to the essay.
task response
Main points, such as financial stability and stock market risks, are supported by relevant examples.
task response
The essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages of taking risks, showing a balanced viewpoint.
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