IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be?Should governments give more financial support to local film industries?

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In certain countries, domestic
films
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 often struggle to match the popularity of movies produced in other countries. There are various reasons contributing to the failure of local
films
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, making
government
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 support necessary to address
this
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 issue. One primary factor behind the blockbuster success of foreign
films
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 is their substantial budgets. Established
film
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 industries in certain nations allow production teams to invest in action-packed sequences, mesmerizing special effects, and captivating shooting locations.
For instance
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, Hollywood's triumphs like 'Avatar' and Disney's animated
films
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 have gained global fame, underscoring the significance of financial investment.
Additionally
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, renowned stars, experienced actors and actresses,
along with
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 compelling stories from exceptional producers and directors make these
films
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 highly appealing worldwide.
Conversely
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,
films
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 with low budgets and poor quality struggle to compete. From my perspective, it is crucial for the
government
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 to bolster the local
film
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 industry. Every country is home to numerous talented amateur filmmakers eagerly seeking an opportunity to showcase their skills and creativity. Financial grants can assist them in building professional teams and addressing challenges arising from financial constraints,
such
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 as equipment shortages. If these individuals produce a plethora of high-quality
films
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 that invigorate the domestic
film
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 industry, we can expect a surge in employment opportunities within the sector, increased
film
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 sales, and a growing influx of tourists.
For example
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, New Zealand witnessed a significant upturn in visitor numbers following the release of the
film
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 'Lord of the Rings', which received partial funding from the
government
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.
To conclude
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, the substantial budget of
films
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 plays a pivotal role in their global success.
Therefore
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,
government
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 subsidies for local
films
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 can enhance their competitiveness in the market.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure you have a clear logical sequence throughout your essay. It should seamlessly flow from one idea to the next. Make use of linking words and phrases to better connect sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Although an introduction and conclusion are present, work on making your introduction more impactful by giving a brief outline of the reasons and your stance on government support. Your conclusion should also summarize the key points more concisely.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your main points. This will make your arguments more convincing. While mentioning 'Avatar' and 'Disney's animated films' is good, adding statistics or real-life examples of local successes due to government funding would strengthen your case.
task achievement
While your essay does provide a complete response to the task, ensure you address both parts of the question equally. Discuss not just why people prefer foreign films, but also elaborate more on the reasons and benefits of government funding for local industries.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear, but consider expanding them with more comprehensive explanations and a broader range of vocabulary to demonstrate linguistic ability.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Cultural exchange
  • Cinematic expertise
  • Diverse narratives
  • Enriching cultural experience
  • Linguistic proficiency
  • Cinematography advancements
  • Government subsidies
  • Promote local talent
  • Economic sustainability
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