Scientist agree that many people eat too much junk food and it is damaging their health . Some people think that this problem can be solved by educating people , while others believe that education will not work . Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

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In modern society, it is true that

comsuming

Correct your spelling

consuming

fast

food

Use synonyms

is becoming increasingly popular in many

part

Change to a plural noun

parts

show examples

of the world .

While

Linking Words

some

people

Use synonyms

believe that educating

people

Use synonyms

is the best method to solve it , others argue that there are more effective methods for

this

Linking Words

problem .

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both

perspective

Change to a plural noun

perspectives

show examples

and

provides

Correct subject-verb agreement

provide

show examples

opinions on the matter . On the one hand , there are those who believe that educating

people

Use synonyms

is the best way to solve the consumption of junk

food

Use synonyms

. They argue that education

offer

Change the verb form

offers

show examples

a wide range of knowledge which can help individuals to choose healthier

food

Use synonyms

options .

Moreover

Linking Words

, education

also

Linking Words

provides

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the knowledge of how to make junk

food

Use synonyms

less tempting to adults

as well as

Linking Words

children .

For example

Linking Words

, some research

also

Linking Words

demonstrates that eating

food

Use synonyms

which is

contained

Verb problem

apply

show examples

high in saturated fats and added sugars

causing

Wrong verb form

causes

show examples

obesity in various ages .

Thus

Linking Words

, it is one of the methods that help

people

Use synonyms

solving

Wrong verb form

solve

show examples

these problems . Meanwhile ,

this

Linking Words

trend certainly has

another

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

better methods . There are those who think that

rely

Wrong verb form

relying

show examples

Use synonyms

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

provide

Fix the infinitive

to provide

show examples

the discipline method in

generally

Change the word

general

show examples

into the whole country and

people

Use synonyms

will be announced that junk

food

Use synonyms

detrimetal

Correct your spelling

detrimental

to the growth of children ,

espeacially

Correct your spelling

especially

, in

Correct article usage

the adolesence

show examples

adolesence

Correct your spelling

adolescence

period .

Firstly

Linking Words

Use synonyms

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

have the right to force the

food

Use synonyms

industry to cut sugar and salt in fast

food

Use synonyms

products ,

this

Linking Words

thing help

people

Use synonyms

Verb problem

apply

show examples

control their intake of harmful fats easily .

Additionally

Linking Words

,the

government

Use synonyms

could impose high taxes on fast

food

Use synonyms

to reduce

people

Use synonyms

's consumption and

also

Linking Words

lead to consuming products which are not contained enormous saturated fats . In conclusion , both view

also

Linking Words

have their merit . Indeed , Allowing the

government

Use synonyms

to intervene in

this

Linking Words

regard helps to radically improve because there is more to it than using education.

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task achievement

In your essay, try to fully develop each point with detailed explanations and examples. While you have started to explain some points, further elaboration would strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Work on the logical flow of your paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph develops one main idea and smoothly transitions to the next idea. Additionally, improve sentence connectors to maintain coherence throughout the essay.

language accuracy

Increase the precision of your language and minimize minor grammatical and word choice errors to enhance the readability and professionalism of your essay. Pay attention to sentence structure and formatting as well.

task achievement

Your essay addresses both perspectives clearly, showing that you've understood the prompt well.

coherence cohesion

You have included an introduction and a conclusion, which is good practice in structuring your essay.

task achievement

Your examples are relevant to the topic and support the points you've discussed, demonstrating a thoughtful approach to the essay question.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

313 words

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