Scientist agree that many people eat too much junk food and it is damaging their health . Some people think that this problem can be solved by educating people , while others believe that education will not work . Discuss both view and give your own opinion.
In modern society, it is true that
comsuming
fast Correct your spelling
consuming
food
is becoming increasingly popular in many part
of the world .Change to a plural noun
parts
While
some people
believe that educating people
is the best method to solve it , others argue that there are more effective methods for this
problem . This
essay will discuss both perspective
and Change to a plural noun
perspectives
provides
opinions on the matter .
On the one hand , there are those who believe that educating Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
people
is the best way to solve the consumption of junk food
. They argue that education offer
a wide range of knowledge which can help individuals to choose healthier Change the verb form
offers
food
options . Moreover
, education also
provides with
the knowledge of how to make junk Change preposition
apply
food
less tempting to adults as well as
children . For example
, some research also
demonstrates that eating food
which is contained
high in saturated fats and added sugars Verb problem
apply
causing
obesity in various ages . Wrong verb form
causes
Thus
, it is one of the methods that help people
solving
these problems .
Meanwhile , Wrong verb form
solve
this
trend certainly has another
better methods . There are those who think that Correct quantifier usage
other
rely
on Wrong verb form
relying
government
Correct article usage
the government
provide
the discipline method in Fix the infinitive
to provide
generally
into the whole country and Change the word
general
people
will be announced that junk food
is detrimetal
to the growth of children , Correct your spelling
detrimental
espeacially
, in Correct your spelling
especially
Correct article usage
the adolesence
adolesence
period . Correct your spelling
adolescence
Firstly
, government
have the right to force the Add an article
the government
food
industry to cut sugar and salt in fast food
products , this
thing help people
to
control their intake of harmful fats easily . Verb problem
apply
Additionally
,the government
could impose high taxes on fast food
to reduce people
's consumption and also
lead to consuming products which are not contained enormous saturated fats .
In conclusion , both view also
have their merit . Indeed , Allowing the government
to intervene in this
regard helps to radically improve because there is more to it than using education.Submitted by [email protected]
on
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task achievement
In your essay, try to fully develop each point with detailed explanations and examples. While you have started to explain some points, further elaboration would strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow of your paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph develops one main idea and smoothly transitions to the next idea. Additionally, improve sentence connectors to maintain coherence throughout the essay.
language accuracy
Increase the precision of your language and minimize minor grammatical and word choice errors to enhance the readability and professionalism of your essay. Pay attention to sentence structure and formatting as well.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both perspectives clearly, showing that you've understood the prompt well.
coherence cohesion
You have included an introduction and a conclusion, which is good practice in structuring your essay.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant to the topic and support the points you've discussed, demonstrating a thoughtful approach to the essay question.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?