In some countries, there has beeenan increase in the number of parents who are choosin to educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?

It is often argued that it
it
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
the best way to study at
home
in place of
students
moving to
school
. From my perspective, I disagree totally with those ideas and
this
essay will address the reasons for my views.
To begin
with, studying in
own's
Correct pronoun usage
their own's
show examples
house will
noe
Correct your spelling
not
pay more attention and obtain more knowledge unless
students
participate in their classes at
school
. At
school
, they get re-guided by the teacher if they are not clear about a part of the knowledge and it will be easier to understand when both
students
and teachers face to face. If teachers had known
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
abilities, they would
be
Verb problem
find it
show examples
difficult to guide
students
when self-study at
home
.
For instance
, no families let their children self-study at
home
for 18 years because no one can pay attention to
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
show examples
for a whole
ay
Correct your spelling
day
show examples
and it will affect their eyes when they are exposed to the computer screen too much.
Therefore
, studying alone at
home
is not have best method.
Additionally
,
students
have
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
show examples
at
home
that
is
Verb problem
do
show examples
not
learning
Verb problem
teach
show examples
soft skills and not
communicating
Wrong verb form
communicate
show examples
with
peoole
Correct your spelling
people
. So it will be difficult for people to find a
jpb
Correct your spelling
job
and have many problems in society in the future. Self-studying at
home
will be temped by social networks
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
difficult to absorb lessons. Many
students
only depend on online answers without thinking that
leading
Wrong verb form
leads
show examples
to
underdevelopment
Correct article usage
the underdevelopment
show examples
of knowledge and test-taking skills. Covid-19 is an example, during the epidemic season, many schools had to teach
students
online, but more than 50% of
students
had low scores
anddis
Correct your spelling
and did
not understand anything after entering directly.
As a result
,
students
should not be taught at their
home
instead
of
goin
Correct your spelling
going
to
school
. In conclusion, I disagree
with
Change preposition
that
show examples
studying from
home
is worse
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
going to
school
.
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task achievement
In the introduction, directly state your view without repetition: 'It is often argued that home education is superior to traditional schooling. However, I completely disagree with this viewpoint and will elaborate on my reasons in this essay.'
task achievement
Some arguments are unclear or not fully developed. Focus on expanding each point with concrete examples or data.
coherence cohesion
Do more to logically connect ideas between and within paragraphs, ensuring smooth transitions. Use connectives like 'Furthermore', 'Moreover', or 'On the contrary'.
coherence cohesion
Before diving into specific arguments, briefly outline what each paragraph will cover to provide a clearer logical structure.
supported main points
Ensure all claims are well-supported with evidence. For example, expand on how a lack of soft skills specifically impacts job prospects.
logical structure
Maintain a consistent use of complex sentence structures and avoid repetition of similar phrases or ideas to keep the essay engaging.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on spelling and grammar to enhance clarity. For instance, 'it it' should be 'it is', 'noe' should be 'not', 'is not have best method' should be 'is not the best method'.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion succinctly restates your viewpoint, summarizing the essay's main point effectively.
complete response
The essay addresses multiple aspects of home education, demonstrating awareness of the issue's complexity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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