IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Developing countries require international organization’s help. Some people prefer financial aid while others think practical aid and advice are better. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

#countries #organization’s #people #aid #advice
Growing
countries
 need
support
 from other counties, either may be
finicialy
Correct your spelling
financially
financial
 or practical aid. In my opinion, I tend to deem that
finicial
Correct your spelling
financial
 help
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
show examples
 role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
devlopment
Correct your spelling
development
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries
. I will elaborate on my opinion in the forthcoming paragraphs. The
finicial
Correct your spelling
financial
support
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 to grow for a long time.
Mostly
Correct your spelling
Most
show examples
devloping
Correct your spelling
developing
countries
has lacking
Wrong verb form
lack
show examples
 some social
infrastructures
Fix the agreement mistake
infrastructure
show examples
such
 as schools,
shooping
Correct your spelling
shopping
center
Fix the agreement mistake
centers
show examples
, job
center
Fix the agreement mistake
centers
show examples
,
Correct word choice
and garden
show examples
garden
Fix the agreement mistake
gardens
show examples
. If other
countries
 help
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
finicialy
Correct your spelling
financially
,
then
 it
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
long terms
Correct your spelling
long-term
show examples
benefit
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefits
show examples
.
Such
 as, by graduating
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school people can do
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 job and
suport
Correct your spelling
support
 to
devlope
Correct your spelling
develop
Change preposition
of them
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
countire
Correct your spelling
country
. Doctors, engineers and city planners are the
out standing
Correct your spelling
outstanding
show examples
 example of
this
.
Moreover
, by making attractive infrastructure,
countries
 might
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
enhance
tourisum
Correct your spelling
tourism
 and
enhace
Correct your spelling
enhance
 the
finicial
Correct your spelling
financial
 security of the
countries
.
On the other hand
, Practical aid and advice
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
also
helpfull
Correct your spelling
helpful
.
The
Correct article usage
An
show examples
 excellent example is that, during the
covid
Correct your spelling
pandemic
, all global teams
allocate
Wrong verb form
allocated
show examples
 solutions to get rid
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
corono
Correct your spelling
corona
 virus.
However
, in some
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
country
Add a comma
country,
show examples
this
 might be impossible
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if
finicial
Correct your spelling
financial
support
 was not provided by other
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
. As every
contires
Correct your spelling
country
 has distinct
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
,
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they can find their own solutions by making their education system strong.
For example
,
engineer
Fix the agreement mistake
engineers
show examples
 help
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the city to
devlop
Correct your spelling
develop
 and create new technology, which
succor
Change the verb form
succors
show examples
 them
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in terms of online bank
tranfer
Correct your spelling
transfer
, booking tickets and calling. In the recapitulation,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 tend to deem that both
finicial
Correct your spelling
financial
support
 and advice are
improtant
Correct your spelling
important
 but
the finical
Correct word choice
financial
show examples
 stability
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
 crucial for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
devloping countires
Correct your spelling
developing countries
.
Submitted by milonishekhaliya on

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task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument and provided your own opinion, which is good. However, your essay could benefit from more detailed explanations and clearer development of ideas. Try to fully elaborate on each point you make.
task achievement
Some of the points you made are supported with relevant examples, but there is a need for more precise and specific examples. This helps to strengthen your arguments and makes your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical progression, but some ideas are not clearly linked. Try to ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next with appropriate linking words and phrases to guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the main points you will discuss. Similarly, your conclusion should summarize the main arguments made in your essay and restate your opinion more clearly.
coherence cohesion
While your main points are evident, you need to develop them more fully for a higher score. Provide clear explanations and link your ideas logically so that they build upon one another.
task achievement
You demonstrated the ability to discuss both sides of an argument and present your own opinion, which is an important part of the task response.
task achievement
Examples such as the role of doctors, engineers, and city planners were relevant and added value to your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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