Some people think museums and art galleries should show works of art and history from their own country rather than from different parts of the world. Do you agree or disagree ?

#people #museums #art #galleries #show #works #history #country #parts #world

It is argued that

museums

should present works of art and

history

according to

their nation rather than from all over the

world

This

essay disagrees with

this

statement because the restriction limits human knowledge and decreases the interest among customers to visit

museums

. First of all, showcasing only national projects of art and

history

limits the possibilities of learning more about the

world

In other words

people

who do not have access to a wider range of data on

world

culture and

history

can not

further

evolve and educate themselves.

Therefore

it leads to a less intelligent society.

For instance

according to

recent research, students who learn the

history

of only their birth region are shown to experience more struggles in studying geography. Particularly with remembering the placement of every country.

Secondly

due to

the lack of foreign works of art and

history

, more

people

lose interest in visiting

museums

. They peak more interest in foreigners,

while

residents prefer to explore and see information on varied cultures from all over the

world

Consequently

, the level of visitors to

museums

significantly falls. Take

for example

Louvre

Correct article usage

the Louvre

show examples

in Paris, it attracts so many

people

every year, because of its diversity and multiculturalism the artworks have.

In addition

, the high level of visitors contributes to

people

's intelligence. In conclusion,

museums

should not present only national

history

and culture. I believe it prevents

further

evolution in society and shortens the number of visitors to

museums

due to

the lack of curiosity among residents.

Submitted by katenok200312 on Sat May 25 2024

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task achievement

Consider adding more specific examples or case studies to further strengthen your arguments. This will make your essay more compelling and credible.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that all your points are thoroughly elaborated and connected to your overall thesis. Some points, such as the one in your conclusion, can be expanded further to add more depth.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which help in framing your arguments well.

task achievement

The main points are relevant to the topic and provide a solid basis for arguing your position.

coherence cohesion

Your essay maintains a logical flow, making it easy to follow your line of reasoning.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

250 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think museums and art galleries should show works of art and history from their own country rather than from different parts of the world. Do you agree or disagree ?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Environmental protection should be the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree

The rise of social media had affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

The internet has become profoundly efficient and popular that people choose it as a platform to learn. Some believe that it would eventually replace the need for books. Do you agree or disagree?

Alternative energy sources that use the natural power of the wind, wave and sun are too expensive and complicated to replace the coal, oil and gas that we use to power our cities and transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?