IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology can replace their functions . Do you agree or disagree?

#libraries #waste #money #computer #technology #functions
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Nowadays, it is common for
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
 to believe that the advent of
technology
 is eliminating the main functions of traditional
libraries
.
Although
 I accept that the development of automation has a lot of influence on
people
's reading habits, I disagree with the idea that these could replace public
libraries
. On the one hand, the application of
technology
 to reading has lots of benefits for the public. Granted, online
libraries
 provide convenience for readers.
This
 is because,
while
 customers of conventional
libraries
 need to move there to use
resources
, virtual library users can have access to any kind of information at any time.
For instance
, a large number of students use their
technology
 devices like laptops to access the internet and read electronic
books
 (e-
books
), even printing these into
books
,
instead
 of visiting local
libraries
 and reference documents.
On the other hand
, there are
also
 good grounds to agree that many functions of public
libraries
 would become redundant
due to
 the advent of virtual
libraries
.
Firstly
, traditional
libraries
 are not only places for borrowing and lending
books
, but they
also
 serve many purposes.
This
 is exemplified by
libraries
 providing a peaceful and scholarly ambience of the library that supports
people
's focus on reading or learning.
Secondly
, some rare
books
 and special
resources
 are not likely to be available in digital format and conventional
libraries
 are those which possess these special materials.
Nonetheless
, there are several popular e-book pages that allow users to consume these
resources
 only when they pay a fee. Naturally, very few
people
 make that trade. In conclusion, though there are some advantages of using
technology
 to help
people
's reading, I believe that keeping traditional
libraries
 is not a waste of financial
resources
 thanks to their functions with the general public.
Submitted by nguyentungchi345 on

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task achievement
Consider providing more detailed and specific arguments to strengthen your position. For example, you could discuss how public libraries serve as community centers or offer educational programs.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to ensure clarity. Some sentences are slightly awkward or contain minor errors. For example, 'virtual library users can have access to any kind of information at any time' could be made more fluent.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion and maintains it throughout the response. This demonstrates a consistent approach to the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with clearly separated paragraphs for each main point.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • repositories of books
  • promoting literacy
  • community engagement
  • equal access to information
  • digital divide
  • accessibility issues
  • personalized assistance
  • educational programs
  • cultural events
  • safe spaces
  • community meetings
  • tactile experience
  • preserving historical documents
  • important cultural repositories
  • fostering a sense of community
  • communal hubs
  • serene and focused environment
  • conducive to study and reflection
  • irreplaceable value
  • distracted environment
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